i see you

A box in a box

Evangelia:
It's done.

He said he would cancel his meeting too go with. But I said that I really needed this alone. I wouldn't be able too do it with him there. I would just look into his eyes and see that he wouldn't want that.

I know he would want me too be healthy in every way before anything. But I know that it would hurt him so much too sit in that room.

I feel a sense of emptiness but I know this is what I will want in the long run. Even if it feels so fucking wrong and painful. Quitting is what I had too do. I never had a family. I never had a healthy house or stability. The fact of knowing I can give so one that helps a lot.

Tasha sent a couple of messages and called this morning to be there for me. Which did a lot too. I love Tasha, but a part of me is greedy and felt like I needed Isla too. Tasha is enough and she will always be. I just needed Isla in a whole other way...

I don't know

I need too stop at a store. The doctor said I can't do any workouts besides walks until I've gained 7kg and then he will give me a list of things too maintain a healthy body. He said too treat this time like it's bulking season. High calorie food but it has too be good calories. Not just candy and ships. I can't really eat that.

My eating disorder destroyed the flavor of candy. Me and Tasha are the same there. She loves spicy food now which she started craving during her disorder. I just craved sweets. Which made my brain cancel them out. So now I can't eat too much of it or it just triggers me.

He gave me a list of a shit ton of things that are good for gaining healthy weight. So after the list we go!

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I carry all the bags and knock on the door. Noah's still at the meeting. I open a bottle of wine... I feel like I need it! But I can't find the wine opener.

I start roaming around in our moving boxes....

What is that....

I see this black little jewelry box that is not mine. I stare at it. I know what it is, I'm not stupid! But when I open it it's real. No I can't! Can I? No. I don't want too know. If he's proposing then that's a thing for that day. I don't need too see the ring to jinx it.

I feel like if I see the ring something will happen too make sure I don't get it. But I am curious, what shape is it? What color? Gold or silver? It must be gold I mean it has too be right?

Fuck I can't go around wondering...

"Hey are you home?" I hear coming from the hallway as someone enters through the door.
I quickly out the bow away and walk out steadily.

"Yeah, I'm looking for a wine opener" I say flashing a small smile.
I walk up too him to kiss him and give him a hug.

"It's in the kitchen I brought it out yesterday. I had a feeling it would be used today. And I didn't want you too have to look through all the boxes"

I don't know if it's shady or sweet. I mean it's both! But knowing what laying in one of the boxes makes his response shady

"How are you feeling Angel?" He asks
I don't even know myself.

"It's okay, I went grocery shopping. It was heavy and I was tired but it was fine."

"Mhmm and you wanna tell me how it went" I look down for a second. Until I realize that yes none of us wanted any of this. But it's all for my heart and our future and I am willing to sacrifice for that.

"It hurt a bit, like a lot. But it went well and I was just really sleepy afterwards. I got home 10 minutes ago and just wanted some wine and then watch a movie."

"It sounds cozy, can I join you?" I smile big time.

"Always my love! How was your meeting?" I asked as I start opening and pouring my white wine into two glasses.

"Good everything is set up. Practice starts in a week exactly." I get a small clump in my chest. But I'm happy for him. I love that he gets too so what he loves. It just hurts that I can't do the same.

"Good, the season will be tough right?"

"Yep, big time"

"well now I can watch every game. And be your absolute biggest supporter" he wraps his arms around me from the back.

"You already are, my favorite too" I smile

"Hmmm not all those bimbos who commented the instagram post the team made? I mean some of them were a 10 out of 10" I say in a half sassy half joking way.

He knows I'm messing with him, but I've always known that he likes it when I'm a little jealous. I think it makes him feel more wanted and appreciated.

"No thank you, you're stuck with me until forever!" Well until you ask me to be your forever. I won't say it. He'll have too force it out with a ring on the finger.

"Mhmm I better be, soon" I hinted, but sometimes I think he's too clueless too understand.

I decided that we are watching the lion king.

When the movie started to get close too the most tragic cinematic deaths of them all. I hear sounds from Noah. I'm laying in his sheaf and I feel it tightening. Is he crying?

I look up at him, tears in his eyes. Runny nose. He is crying?

"It's allergies" he quickly say. When he noticed that I noticed.

"Noah-"

"Just watch the movie." He said

"It's just that he thinks he killed his dad, poor simba" he then continued with.

"Noah, sweetie." I hug him.

He is passionate about this one movie.

"Are it this way, if this didn't happen then Timon and Pumba wouldn't have met him"

"I know"

"I love you Noah"

"I love you too Angel"

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A/N
Hello baby's