i see you

A killer "Evangelia"

He saw me murder and think I would murdered a child. I might be a rude and mean person! But I would never intentionally harm a child! The people I killed deserved it, that doesn't make it right but it's the truth. A child what could they possibly do.

"Hey Nathan I wanna show you my place! And maybe you'll meet a little friend" I say smiling

———
We've been at my place for a while and just chatted.

"Can I ask you something" he says

"Anything, doesn't mean I'll answer though" I said honestly

"I saw you with mitchko, that was personal... and you asked how he couldn't recognize you. Can I ask why?" Shit he heard that

"Well when I left my home, I got into a crowd of people who weren't good but they became my family. One day I was out and someone took me... mitchko. I was uh hurt a lot physically and mentally. Turned out my 'parents' paid him to hurt me" I tell him

"Why did he say he never had an Evangelia then?" Oh this dudes observant

"He never have! It's complicated little guy! And you should get some sleep. You can sleep with Sasha if you want to" I say smiling

"Yea please! Thank you." He's got manners! I like him he's sweet.

I sit on the couch working, I fucking hate people! They shouldn't be allowed e-mail like no, no I can't just magically program your laptop! Like I've told this lady 6 times that she needs to go to a store and let them help. But no she insist that I do it from my home! That's illegal... like that's ever stopped me before... but not when it comes to this!

I hear Nathan crying and panting in his sleep and Sasha comes out to get me. Nightmares...

"Hey, hey you're fine! It's fine I promise you are safe and everything is okay!" I tell him while just clapping his head and back.

"I'm sorry..." he tells me

"You have nothing to be sorry for azizam! I wasn't sleeping." I reassure him

"Do you want to sleep with me and Sasha in my bed?" I ask him gently

"Yes please." He's so fragile, it breaks me!

We go to bed with me and Sasha and I hold him tight through the whole night! I have practice tomorrow and I have no idea how I'm supposed to occupy him. And I'm going tot he Olympics soon! I fucking forgot about that...

Practice right now is hell literal hell! Coach Harrison is disgusting and the hitting thing is a everyday thing now. I know I'm a powerful person but this is about winning the Olympics! My only source of motivation to live right now and through my whole life... it's all I ever had! If that means him hitting me than yes I'll take it.

I decided that Nathan would sit and watch my practice till it's done. And then I'll take him and Isla out for lunch. Well I'm still 'dieting' but they have to eat or i will force them!

I'm trying to distract myself from the 'fight' aka me yelling at Noah because he was lying to me. He could be honest and say that maybe I am a killer but you I still support you. Not thinking I would kill a child, how could he actually? I mean do I seem like I would? Nooo that hurt me! Does he really not know me at all!

He knows me better than anyone, or so I thought! I just can't look past this right now... I said one chance and he blew it big time! But it feels so wrong... the thought of not being with him and not hugging him or his laugh and gorgeous eyes! Shit he really made me fall for him...

I told myself not to, but I did and now I'm suffering because of it! I should have trusted my instincts...

————-
I didn't sleep I just was up thinking all night.
I went up and made Nathan breakfast and went out with Sasha before starting to get ready. I put on just black workout thoughts and a sports bra for the gym warm up. And pack my skating suit and skates. I put on simple makeup and my standard jewels.

We both get into the car and practice start.

Practice is fine until I notice someone sitting with Nathan... Noah...

"What's re you doing here?" I ask rudely

"I need to talk to you!" God he looks destroyed I feel bad...

"No! I have practice and then I'm busy so no!"

"Angel please! I messed up I know that but I woul-"

"Well you did imply it and basically say it so don't lie to me now! That will only make it worse." I just want to give in and have him just hold me!

"Lia...look I can't justify it! I did yes and that was fucking wrong of me. I just didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to expect! They only said that when your in there your emotionless..."

"Well emotionless doesn't mean without a moral compass, or you know common sense! Look me and Nathan are kind in a hurry so bye."

"Don't do that! Don't just walk away, you always walk away! Talk to me! This is the issue Lia you don't trust me and you don't talk to me!" He's trying to blame me for this now...

"Look Noah I don't have time for this. I leave in a month and will be away for three weeks!"

"Well let me try! If this doesn't work when you leave... than this is over! But you have to trust me, you have to start talking to me!" That does sound nice...

"I already gave you a chance Noah! You blew it."

"Yes, yes I did! But I am asking you for one more... because I need you! I've been without you for a day and I feel empty and lonely I feel lost! So yes I know I fucked up but I really fucking need you!"

"Noah I-... I guess..."

"Wait for real!" He looked so relieved

My phone rings and I answer.

"Yea Chelsea"

"Someone's called you 17 times today... she says she's your mother..."

"Block the number and do not under any circumstances answer it ever EVER!"

"Yes ma'am"

Shit life really do send everything my way...

Authors note:
Well I'm sorry I really am! Life's just been a mess. I hope this one isn't to much of a mess either...
I hope y'all vote!

Word count: 1113