Chapter eleven

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Secrets begin

As I approached Anakin's room that feeling of frustration and betrayal grew stronger until it was almost unbareable

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As I approached Anakin's room that feeling of frustration and betrayal grew stronger until it was almost unbareable. I just felt so guilty, of course I'd never meant to hurt him, I was just trying to do what's best, for both of us. No matter what we think we feel, we are first and foremost Jedi, and as such we have sworn an oath to reframe from attachments and live a life dedicated to selfless actions, keeping the peace through-out the galaxy. I dragged my feet slightly as I neared to slighty open door to a smaller living space within the household, Anakin just visible inside, stood staring out the large glass doors to the scenary beyhond.

"...What is it?" He asked in a cold and distant tone before my knuckle could conect with the wood of the door in order to knock. I sighed and walked in, thinking that I should've guess as much that he'd be able to sense my presence with ease, it's not like I ever made any attempt to hide it from him.

"...I came to check that you're ok." I said quietly, holding my hands nevously together before me, eyes lowered as I spoke, instead looking around the medium sized room, noticing both our bags were placed neatly by a sofa, two doors leading off from the room. I guess this must be where we'd be spending the night.

"I'm fine." He replied flatly, but of course I knew imediately he was lying, you didn't need the force to feel he was upset...upset with me...

"Anakin I'm no fool...I know you're not alright..." I said softly back, not wanting to offend or irritate him any more than I already had done today. Without thinking I moved closer, looking up at the back of his head for any kind of expression...but still he stayed quiet and unreadable. "...Anakin I feel awful, I never meant to hurt you I promise, I would never hurt you intentionally Anakin, please believe me." I pleaded while reaching out and lightly taking ahold of his arm, trying to gently tug him round to face me, desperate to make things up to him. He sighed with slight defeat and stepped round to face me, looking down at me with those fierce yet gentle azure eyes, still frowning ever so slightly.

"Then why do you continue to lie (y/n)? For the council? For our future? (Y/n) I love you, and I thought from that kiss that you felt the same way..." He said, slowly begining to open up and vent his frustration with a pained expression.

"Anakin we can't, you have your duties as do I mine," I said for what felt tlike the hundredth time since last night, each time it was getting a little harder to say. I didn't want to put our feelings aside of course, I wanted to run away and live a happy life with Anakin...but I owe the Jedi order so much...I could never just abandon them like that...no matter how much I love Anakin...
"As for that kiss, it was a mistake, I  was upset and caught up in the moment." I lied, trying to keep a neutral expression as I did so and block him from reading my mind so he wouldn't be able to tell it was an out right lie and that actgually that kiss was the greatest moment of my life so far.

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