Peace [HS AU]

17. Camryn

Moira was more than pleased with the situation with Harry, I think she even cried a little. She told me how proud she was and now I had to continue to fight.

I told her I could feel my depressive stage coming and I was worried how he would react to it. She assured me I needed to be honest and let him prove his words through actions.

I was an anxious mess. Gemma knew my new cycle was starting and she was as supportive as she could be. When I mentioned Harry she understood my worries and did her best to assure me that Harry would be good for me during this.

I knew I needed to try to explain to him what would happen but I didn't know how to put it into words.

We just started this relationship and I was really about to test the waters between us.

Fuck.

Of course it'd be me to ruin this relationship.

That night Harry came over for supper and after a few kisses I went back to finish cooking.

"There's actually something I need to um talk to you about, I don't know how to really say this but I am extremely nervous," I said once we sat down with our plates in front of us.

"Take your time," he smiled encouragingly and grabbed my hand.

"Okay, um, I have.. um.. Bi polar. For me it looks like cycles of depression and mania. More-so depression. Well, um I can feel that I am about to start a cycle of depression. I guess this is one of those broken brain moments," I said trying to laugh. "That was a lot for me to share tonight and I'm really anxious, so can we eat?"

"Of course we can. Is it possible for me to ask questions later and you can respond however you want? I just want to understand what it's like for you so I can know how to best support you. I don't want you to feel nervous or anxious talking about this, I know you can't help it but there is no judgement from me, I don't think your brain is broken, I just think you need someone to do life with and who understands what this means for you so they can help you and I'm really honored to be that person."

I couldn't help the few tears that fell and he wiped my eyes for me.

"I'm just overwhelmed, this isn't a normal response, besides Gemma, she's great. It's just taking me a while to understand that someone could care for me."

"Well, get used to it, babe. Because I care a heck of a lot and I'm not leaving."

I laughed and smiled and leaned over to give him a soft kiss.

"Now, let's eat."

Dinner went by and he told me more about his work and what exactly he did. He did really seem to enjoy it. I tried to hold my thoughts about what I thought because he found true joy in his work and I think that's amazing.

I told him more about my manuscripts and just how easy my job was, he suggested we read one together and I was too eager to say yes. So after dinner we cuddled up on the couch and Harry read out loud to both of us.