Peace [HS AU]

26. Camryn

My chapters are becoming a lot longer so i hope you guys don't mind that :))
also, this chapter is a bit of a rollercoaster but not too crazy.

Harry and I were slowly doing better. He still had lunch with me and I was slowly getting better I think. I was a lot more exhausted lately and worried how he was feeling which isn't normal for me and why I tend to be alone. Worrying about my own brain and now worrying about Harry, it was lot when I was in my cycle. I know we had already talked about this but I still worried he was holding back.

I wanted to do something for him though. Taking a shower would be a good start, it had been a few days and my hair was starting to smell. I had approximately an hour until he would be at his place so I decided to take a full shower, wash my hair, shave my legs and such, and put on clean clothes. I even did a load of laundry because he has been doing mine every few days and I didn't want him to worry about that when he got here.

I appreciate him taking care of me so much but I was worried it was becoming too much and I was being a burden.

It's because you are a burden, he's probably so tired of your shit.

I even lit a few candles. I had absolutely no energy to cook but I was a lot more hungry today so I decided I'd let him decide what he wanted to eat and we could even go out if he wanted.

I was really pushing myself today, it wasn't necessarily a bad day but I was tired. I think this cycle maybe be shorter because I'm already feeling more like myself lately.

Sometimes it was hard to believe that Harry and I have been dating around 3 and a half months now and most of that time was me spent dealing with my depression. He was honestly a trooper for sticking with me through all my bad days. I mean he stayed after I told him everything. I always anticipated the moment I'd finally open up to someone and they'd affirm that I was an awful person. Harry was angry at my family, he voiced that to me and I could see it in his eyes. He was so angry that they made me hate myself.

I didn't even feel angry because it was true, I didn't like myself and I didn't think anyone else could either.

But Harry did.

But does he really?

Harry says he likes me and he cares for me. I really like and care for him. My feelings were becoming stronger though, I felt like I'd do anything for Harry. I wanted to do anything for him. I wanted to make him smile and make him laugh. I wanted to make him feel safe and comforted. I just knew that I had strong feelings that consumed every part of me. I didn't really know why I was feeling such intense emotions.

Gemma and I talked for the first time in weeks and when I mentioned these emotions to her she said it could possibly be love. I laughed her off. But the more I think about it the more she may be right. I feel so connected to Harry and I kind of think I could be falling in love him. Talking about my feelings with Gemma is surprisingly a lot easier despite her being Harry's sister. But, I didn't know what love was. It was one emotion I'd never experienced in a romantic sense.