Never Ending Thoughts(Collection of Poems and random thoughts)

Untitled Part 7

It feels like I haven't seen the sun in forever , even though it's probably only been about a week. 

More or less , honestly , I don't even know. My days seem 2 have been getting shorter and my nights continue to bleed into the next sunrise. And that's when my body decides that it wants to rest and get some shut eye. Even though I battle through and stay up for another 20 hours or so just to catch the moon again , my mind begins to get scrambled after a while. And my body just goes on about doing its own thing , while my mind begins to float away , up into the clouds. 

Then , the cycle repeats itself. I wake up at 5 in the morning ,maybe go for a run around my neighborhood , maybe make some breakfast , or go on a bike ride to the beach , or I just simply enjoy having a full day ahead of me once again. My mind reset back to having a sense of clarity , and I go on. This last at the most for maybe a couple weeks. Worst case scenario , I slip up and accidentally stay up through the night once again and fuck up my whole sleeping schedule once again. Nights turn into days , days turn into nights , and everything gets all mixed up and shit. I don't know for how much longer I can get through like this and end up living a life that I want to. I know I need to change something before it's too late and I can't make a sustainable living for myself , doing the things I want to , after doing the things that I need to. Thats enough of that though for now. Thats another topic for another time. 

Now going back to what I was getting at. I hate wasting my fucking days. I hate feeling like I waste my time doing absolutely nothing. It doesn't even have to be anything "productive" , I just need to at least go for a walk somewhere and make myself feel like I'm not wasting my time away. I know life isn't always about just going , but its not all about being complacent either. 

Finding the balance is what I'm striving for.