Never Ending Thoughts(Collection of Poems and random thoughts)

Untitled Part 55

As I go living on my days , I come to realize that whatever you constantly have in thought ,is what your reality comes to be made up of. But its so damn weird because , like , how the fuck was my reality shaped and made , if I am barely coming into understanding this at this point in my life ? Like , what kind of life have I been living in the recent years , and even then , when I was a child. How is it that all that time , I never knew of this ? How is it , that I even had a world before my eyes , and I was simply just living in it instead of making it my own? Was I under some one else's control? Did someone have access to my roaming thoughts and then in return made my reality come true for me ? How was I just living and not comprehending what was going on around me Better yet , how did I not realize what was right in front of me. Like would just wake up everyday , brush my teeth , get dressed , go to school , and live my days like that. I would go outside and play. I would run around , laugh , cry. All by my own , without realizing what I was doing. Now , I'm able to actually be in the moment you could say. Now I know what time means.  Now I know how valuable everyday is. Now I know what I want. Who I am. Who I'm not. Or at least I think so. There's days where I don't. There's days where I don't know a damn thing. Where I don't even know where the fuck I am , or how the fuck I even got here. Yeah. It's pretty insane. But those trips of my existence in my mind , are honestly what has kept me going. It allows me to feel something different. It allows me to feel like I am a part of something greater that I can not yet see or touch. Its like if my mind takes my whole being to a whole other dimension. But it's not scary. Its actually pretty freeing. Because it lets me know that even if I am not a damn thing here. I could mean the world to someone some where else. And in that moment in time , that somewhere else , is technically my "here and now". Which is pretty amazing when you think about it. It's kind of like when I take a drive by the beach. It's nostalgic because of all the memories that I have from that location. And it gets me thinking of all the times that I enjoyed being there with all my previous family and friends , and even lovers. Also , by myself. But yet at the same time , Im in the moment because I'm at the place where all these great things have previously happened. So it takes me to another headspace , which allows me to feel like ll moments here are meant to be great , therefore , with that thought in my mind , all moments there become great. The mind is a great , beautiful , powerful thing. Thats why , it's so damn scary.