Never Ending Thoughts(Collection of Poems and random thoughts)

It could be better or it could be worse

I was driving home from work one day. And I was stopped at the usual stop light that I had been driving through for the past 2 weeks. I had a thought randomly pop up in my head. Have I always been this ignorant. Here I am , driving my car , to a beautiful house we were doing construction on , up in the North Hollywood Hills. And still , I am ungrateful. Still I am without purpose. Or self control. Still , I have yet to make a positive impact and create something worth while in this world. At 23 years old , I wasn't thinking of anything but myself in that moment. I was so disconnected from reality. Because all I had been doing was working. And drinking. And don't get me wrong. It was really such a great privilege to be doing those things. And in that order. But yet , I was so blind as to what was going on around me. The problems that I we were having as a family back at home. And the things that I was neglecting for such a long time. Like my writing. exercising on the daily. Being with family. And saving money for my future. And investing back into myself.I was neglecting my passions. Just being content with what I was doing. Don't get me wrong. I would go back to that life in a second. Working a real awesome job. And making good money. But that's not the point. The point is, that I just had a real eye opening thought/experience. You see , I was still unhappy. Still felt like I was missing something. Still feeling depressed without knowing how to deal or cope with it. But as I'm sitting there. I look to my right and see this homeless guy sleeping in a tent. And nothing like those homeless people you see back home at the dead end. No this guy had quite the setup. But that's not the point. He was still having problems , that in that moment in time , were far greater than mine. Not to say my problems were insignificant . Because you know , I matter to and what not , but I was feeling ungrateful for all I had , and I didn't realize it then. Shit it took me about a whole year and a half later to realize it. I just realized it now, as I'm writing this. But I had it good. Real good. And then as I look up right as the light turned green. I see this hundred thousand dollar Mercedes G wagon in front of me. My dream fucking car. And I think , hmm. I wonder what kind of problems that person has. Because all though it took me sometime. I came to the realization that , we all in fact , do have problems. And I could have it better. Or I could have it worse , than the person sharing this beautiful earth with me. 

All in all.

It could be better , or it could be worse.