Never Ending Thoughts(Collection of Poems and random thoughts)

Untitled Part 35

I had my first job interview in what has been nearly 2 damn years. And honestly , I wasn't really prepared at all. I showed up 1 hour late. Didn't dress too appropriately. And on top of that , I'm not even sure I got the gig. Im hoping that I did. But I kinda set myself up for failure by showing up an hour later than I needed to. I didn't even do it on purpose either. It seems like every time the I have something important to do , my mind just tells my whole body not to get up. Literally , every single damn time. Like what in the world could be more important in my dreams , than my real life? This shit happens every time , to the point that I've gotten used to it already. I literally laid on my bed staring at the time pass me by. And finally decided to get up when I knew it was too late. I think it's more of a trauma , ego protection type thing. Because if I end up getting bad news , or don't get a job , or am fail a test or something , my mind will just ell me , "hey don't worry , its not because of you , it was simply because you were late to that one thing that didn't go your way". And I do it unconsciously thinking about it. But now the I'm writing it down , I think I figured out why I do it. To avoid taking responsibility.