Never Ending Thoughts(Collection of Poems and random thoughts)

Untitled Part 13

Often times, I wonder why people do , the things that they do. What is their motive? Could it be an act of emotion? Or could it be , a past trauma that they've had to endure? Or could it be for a reason that only they know? Like what would make someone , want to protect someone else's life? Could it be out of Love? But then again , what is the meaning of Love? For someone to get angry that a certain person in their life is being hurt , and for them to want to do something about it , I believe , requires a deeper level of thinking.Lets say , a boy has been spending lots of time with this girl. He begins to develop feelings for her. Now in his head , is a space for her sole existence only. He saves a spot for her up in his thoughts , that only portray to her. He begins to gather all the things they've done together , the places that they've done seen , the moments that they've experienced together , the way that she looks , what she likes , what she doesn't , her smile , her eyes , the way that she smells , the things that she does that make him happy. All of these little things , he begins to store up inside a tiny little room , inside of his head. Her very own special place , inside of him. He's now created a certain image of who she is ,inside these four little walls. And as time passes , like with many things , this room begins to grow. The walls begin to get wider , and there's now more space to put more things in. But what the boy fails to realize is , in order for a room to be created , there has to a door to get in and out. And what's on the other side of the door , is a totally different reality , than that , that has been created inside of that room. No matter how big you build the room , no matter how many things from the outside world , you bring and store in that room , the outside , is always a different story. The outside is raw , real , and at times it can be scary. Why? Because it's not what you're used to. It's not what you've created , but instead , it's what's already been there. It's  a world that is different than your own. Different from what you know. The girl that you thought you knew inside of those four little walls of yours, is someone completely different on the outside. Who she is once you've met her outside of that room , has now completely changed. What you thought you knew about her has been completely wrong. Because what you have of hers in that room , is only a fraction of who she really is. On the outside , it's a dangerous world for her. She's been hurt many times over again. She's ran away from things that she rather not say. She's dealt with shit that no one person should ever have to in their lifetime. But still. She saw this little room that you were building. And she decided to knock on the door with hopes of you letting her in. And you did just that. Even though you may not know all of who she truly is, she decides to only bring the good into the room. She takes her shoes off and leaves the dirt at the door. She gets comfortable in your bed , in this room that only you and her have ever been. And she decides to stay for a while. But when she leaves , she takes not one damn thing with her. She leaves and the only thing that she takes is herself with all her secrets. Even though , little by little you begin to figure out and notice things , and piece things together , its all in your head , so you don't know whether its true  or not. You know that every time she steps foot out that door , she gets hurt. So you begin to get hurt. You begin to feel her pain. And you being to feel her anger. She is now a part of you. Because this whole time you were building a room for her. She was building a room for you too. Even though you didn't know it. Because you were so damn comfortable in the one that you've made. One day though , you deicide to step outside with her. You decide that you want to take a look into her world for a day. And what you discover , you wish that you never did. Why? Because now you know the truth. Now all you can think about is the why? And now you want to do something about it. Now you feel like this person is who you need to save. Now you feel like nothing else in the world matters but her. You want to be the one to take her away from the world that she knows and go and create one that's better. You want to hurt the people that hurt her. Including yourself. Because from the outside looking in , now you can see that sometimes , you also did things that hurt her. Even though she never told you. She just wanted that room of yours to stay as happy as possible. So she kept it to herself no matter how bad it hurt her. Don't get it wrong though , she's also done things that she wasn't proud of. She also did things that hurt you. But just like her , you wanted to keep her room as happy as possible. So you stayed quiet. You kept it to yourself and let the hurting prolong. But one day. You just couldn't take it anymore. You just had to do something about it. You just had to go out into her world and save her. By any means necessary. But wait , you couldn't. Because if you did. Then she'd know that you know. And you don't want her to know that. So what do you do in the name of Love? You leave. You decide to just get up and leave. But this time , you don't destroy the room that you've made for her. No. Unlike the rest. You can tell that these four walls are meant to stay up for her. Because that door is the only one that she still knocks on , in hopes that you might be there to answer , and let her in. Just for her to stay one more night with you. But it's too late and you both know it. So for her , you leave the door open. No one else can go in anyways , so it's fine. So whenever she needs to get away. She goes into that little room of yours. And just stays. But now the room has a window. And whenever you get the chance. You peek your head in every once in a while. Just hoping to catch a glimpse of her. But you never walk in when you do. Not cause you don't want to. But because you already know every single detail of that room. And you don't want to go back in because you might stay a little too long. So you just watch her from outside. And you just leave. Once again. Out in to the real world this time. Cause now you know what to do. And even though you've left her alone. You've still got unfinished business with the people who hurt her. So even though you'll never be with her again. You two will always be closer than you know. So why do people go out and do certain things. Who knows? All I know is , Love can be one hell of a motive.