Strong (Louis Tomlinson's Cancer story)

Chapter 44: Making things worse

I woke up to see a plain white wall in front of me. Was this all a dream? Was I still at the hospital?  It wasn't real I'm not actually going to die! 

I sat up and realized I was wrong. We were in the hotel room with the sun blaring through the window. Everybody else was still asleep and I looked at the clock to see that it was 8:30 in the morning. I went to the bathroom and grabbed my toothbrush putting the toothpaste on it and brushing my teeth. When I looked in the mirror for once I didn't cringe at my reflection. I wasn't sickly pale anymore thanks to all that time i've been spending in the sun. The tan skin covered my dangerously deep cheek bones better and made them more unnoticeable. I also was growing hair!!! There was little stubble on my head. It's been two weeks since I have left the hospital and I was really happy I didn't nead to wear a beanie anymore.

Just like Dr. Ryan said my condition is getting worse. It is getting harder for me to finish my small meals and it is getting harder and harder to breath but I am getting through it. I am hopping that a clinical trial will come up soon. 

I spit out the toothpaste and whipped my mouth. I quietly went back in the room and grabbed my phone. I slid on my vans real quick before going out the door. There was one person I had been staling on telling about my condition and I knew she should of been the first to know so the guilt has been eating up at me. I didn't want to put this type of stress on her right now but she had to know. She would find out someway or another so I know it's best that it comes from me. 

I went down the elevator and went to sit in a chair by the pool. There was nobody out except for some elderly people taking water aerobics in the kids pool. I unlocked my phone and dialed my mums number. She picked up after the first couple of rings.

L: Hey mum. How are you doing?

J: I'm good hun. Just getting the twins room decorated. I will send you a picture when it's done it looks great!

L: I can't wait. 

J: Lou whats wrong.

L: How did you know something was wrong?

J: I am your mum I know when you sound sad. Plus you just admitted it to me. Was is Kenz's scans? Please tell me she is alright?

L: Kenz is fine. Her scans came back spotless. She is still NEC

J: Whats wrong Lou? If it wasn't Kenz that only........ It's you isn't it

I could hear her already tense up trying to hold the tears. 

L: I'm sorry mum. The cancer spread all over my body. There is really nothing I can do but hope I get into a clinical trial soon. 

J: B..but you were doing so g...good Lou. You were almost healthy again... I can't lose you Louis please tell me this is not the end.

L:...I'm sorry mum. I can't make any promises because I really don't know. I feel okay right now but that is mostly for the fact that I am not on the chemo pills anymore or doing inpatient chemo anymore.

J: Wait why aren't you doing chemo. I thought that was helping you?

L: They were going to put me on an extremely high dose. I couldn't be able to leave the hospital for an entire month. It was also to much poison for my body to handle. I hope you understand and aren't mad. I barely just got Liam not to be mad at me. 

J: Of course I'm not mad honey. I support your decision.

She snuffled up her tears after a while and started talking again.

J: Lou...when are you coming back... I need to see you...you know..before...before..

L: I Promise I will go back home before anything happens. 

I knew what she was asking so I just went ahead and told her before she had to say it. 

J: I love you Lou. 

L: I love you too mum. I will see you soon. 

J: Okay call me when your planning on coming.

L: Will do. Bye mum

J: Bye Lou.

I hung up the phone and let out a sigh of relief. It felt so good to finally tell her. When I got back in the room Kenz was finally up and Ally was in the shower. "Good morning little one how are you?" I asked. "I'm good daddy." She said stretching and yawning. I heard the shower turn off and about 10 minuets later after I had Gotten Kenz fully dressed Ally walked out completely ready.

"What are we doing today?" She asked sitting herself next to Kenz. "We have rehearsals and a signing today at the arena. First we are going to get some calories in this stomach with pancakes." I said laughing. Dr. Ryan was so specific that I need to try to eat 3 good size meals a day if I didn't want to have to use my Gtube anymore. I gladly accepted his offer. "I need some calories too." Kenz said lifting her shirt and poking her belly. "You probably need to eat more than I do." I laughed holding up her little arm. 

"So is everybody ready to go?" I asked. Ally nodded and Kenz jumped off the bed. I grabbed Kenz hand and followed Ally out the door. 

***

Our food got to the table and we all started eating right away trying not to be late to go to the arena. The guys were in their rooms getting ready because they woke up late so it was just the three of us. "Do you like your eggs Kenz?" I asked. She nodded and stuck her thumb out with a full mouth. I laughed. "So what is she learning today?" I asked ally. "We are gonna work on her reading book and then do a chapter in her math book over multiplication. she is already getting so ahead." She said. "Thats great. Thank you so much for doing this Al it really means a lot." I said. "I wouldn't want to be doing anything else." She said smiling at me. We finished eating our food then went to the lobby to wait for the guys and paul. It wasn't long before they all came rushing through the doors and into the lobby. 

"Sorry guys they took forever to get ready." Paul said to us. "Not out fault nobody said we had to leave here by 10! I don't even wake up by that time on a normal day!" Harry said. I just laughed and rolled my eyes. I grabbed Kenz's hand and led her outside to help her in her seat. 

Right when we got out the door I heard a sharp shriek and a dark figure run in front of me. I looked to see a guy running with a little girl. Wait! I looked down and realized he had Mackenzie. 

"DADDY!!!!" She yelled. I started to sprint after her but Paul grabbed my waist and pulled my small figure back. "EVERYBODY STAY HERE AND CALL THE POLICE!" Paul said. I didn't listen and sprinted past him again running after the guy. "LOUIS!!!" Paul was trying to catch up but I got my second wind and sprinted even harder. 

I turned many corners following the cries of help from my daughter. I am pretty sure Paul got lost with the amount of turns I am making. 

Finally I see the man putting Kenz in a black van. She was crying so loud I just wanted to hold her in my arms. I was slowing down and It wasn't by choice. My brain was telling me to go grab Kenz but my lungs were screaming for me to stop. "Mackenzie!" I shakily yelled out right before I collapsed. My lungs couldn't take it anymore.

The last thing I remember was yelling and being lifted up by someone.