Strong (Louis Tomlinson's Cancer story)

Chapter 57: Scan day

There has been no sign of Zayn since I last saw him last week. None. No paparazzi, no call, and no text. Not even the guys have gotten anything. I have a feeling he is still at the flat considering that Perrie is on tour right now and he hadn't even finished packing when I barged in on him. I had no time to worry about that though. Today was the day I had been waiting for. I finally am getting off this chemo and seeing how this cancer is doing. This chemo is just has bad as last time even though I got about half of what I usually get. 

"Daddy it's last day of chemo so I brought cookies!!!" Kenz said walking in the door with Al. "Mommy and I made them last night and I decorated this one for you." She said holding up a heart cookie with different collared frosting swirled all over it. Kenz has been calling Ally Mommy since the wedding and I personally think it is adorable. I'm glad she feels that close to her.

"Thank you Kenz. I'll eat it after my scan." I said setting the plate by the bed. She climbed up next to me and grabbed a cookie.

"so yesterday at dance I got put in the front row for our ballet dance! Mrs. Day said I am doing really good!" She said excited. "That's great Kenz. I can't wait to see you tomorrow." I said wrapping my arm around her. "Your going to be able to come?!?" She asked with a huge smile. 

"Of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world." I said. She kissed my head and laid back down! Dr. Sefron came in the room to take me off the chemo. He did his stuff and for the first time in a month there was nothing out of my chest. I felt free. Well except for the fact that I was still in a hospital. 

"Okay are you ready to go get the scans done?" He asked. I nodded and stood up not bothering to put on my shoes. I've learned that walking around in socks is totally accepted when here. It is also not frowned upon to wear the same pullover for a week.

I followed Dr. Sefron out the door after giving Kenz and Ally a kiss. "Any pains, nausea, fatigue, cramps, or headaches?" Dr. Sefron asked. "nausea, fatigue and headaches but thats the usual" I said. He nodded and wrote down on the clipboard. 

"Okay well, You know what to do." He said. I took off my sweatshirt and laid on the cold table and put my arms above my head. After a few minuets of getting lined up I started moving into the machine. I never really looked at the machine while I was in it. I always fell asleep for the 15 minuets I had to lay there but today I was wide awake. The machine was moving in really fast circles. At least that is what it looked like. I saw a line of light slowly move across my body. That line will tell me in a couple of hours if I am doing better or worse. My whole life depends on that bright red light. 

"Okay your all done. You can go back to your room." Dr. Sefron said through the speaker after what felt like forever. I got moved out of the table and I put my pullover back on. "I'll see you in a bit Dr." I said leaving the room. 

No matter how long I have been here I still manage to get insanely lost. It's like a maze. I turned so many corners and finally found my room at the end of the hall. When I walked in Kenz and Ally were in the same place they were in when I left. Kenz was very dramatically trying to persuad Ally why we should get a puppy. It was so hard but I had to tell her no. We travel to much to take care of a dog. It would just be to hard. I went and sat next to her on my bed. 

"Kenz I thought I told you about this." I said. "I'm sorry daddy I just keep on seeing people walking with their dogs on the street and It makes me want one even more." She said. "How about this. If you promise to take care of it we will get you a puppy when the tour is over. Okay?" I asked. She had the biggest smile on her face and tightly wrapped her arms around me. 

"Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you Daddy!" She squealed. "Remember you have to take care of it. A dag is a huge responsibility." I said. She locked her pinky with mine. "I promise daddy!" 

***

"It's still there Lou. It's not as bad as before but it's still on the lining of your lungs." Dr. Sefron said. It's been 5 hours since the scans and they just got the results. 

I sighed. "so what now. obviously being in a hospital for a month didn't do anything." I said annoyed. "Louis don't let that beat you up nobody could of known you were going to have a reaction to the trial. You responded really well to the low dose of chemo which is a good sign that you wont need to go on the stronger dose. You will need a bone marrow transplant so we are going to try to find you a donor. I am going to have you take the chemo pills every morning for the time being." He said. I sighed. Those pills are almost just as bad as the treatment. Same side effects just in huge pill forms. 

"I just need to go for a walk. I'll be back in a little bit." I said getting off the couch I was sitting on with Allison and Kenz. They all gave me sympathetic looks. I spend a whole freaking month trying to get better and I didn't. I walked outside and just tried to get as far away from that dreaded room as possible. I hate this. I hate my life. 

 I turned the corner then I saw the last person I ever expected to see. 

"Zayn?" I asked shocked. He was sitting in a random chair in the hallway with his head in his hands. When he heard my voice he lifted his head. He looked awful. His eyes were blood shot and his face looked like he hadn't shaved since I last saw him. I sighed and went to sit next to him. 

"Zayn how long have you been sitting here?" I asked. "A couple of hours.... I didn't know if you wanted to ever see me again." He said finally looking at me. "Zayn your not my favorite person right now but I will never want to not see you. You will always be my brother." I said. 

"I'm sorry Lou. I made a stupid decision." Zayn said. "Yeah just a little." I mumbled. 

"Lou I want to come back. I quit because I felt alone and it was getting to me but you made me realize that I have you guys. I can't live on without being with my brothers everyday." He sad.

 "Your coming back? Your not going to leave again?" I asked. He nodded. "I can't leave you guys." He said. 

"Have you told the guys?" I asked sitting back. "No I wanted to tell you first. I can't stand you hating me." He said.  "Zayn I never hated you. I was just mad I didn't mean it." I said.

"So we are okay?" He asked. I smiled and wrapped my arm around him. 'Were good Zi." 

"So how did the scan go? Are you finally cancer free?" He asked. My smile fell. "Well...No....I have to continue on those stupid chemo pills and wait for a blood marrow transplant. I'm still leaving today though." I said. 

"I'm sorry Lou. I thought this was the one." He said sadly. "Yeah I did to. The thing is that I don't feel the cancer. I feel like the only thing that makes me feel sick is the chemo and that sucks because thats the only thing that can really make me better." I said. 

"It will get better Lou. It has to." Zayn said patting my shoulder. "yeah I hope so." I sighed.

After a while I stood up and he did too. "Lets go back to my room. I kind of just left." I said. 

We went back to my room to see Kenz and Ally at the table with a work book. "UNCLE ZAYN!!!!!" Kenz yelled running up and jumping into him. I hadn't told her about him quitting. I hadn't completely wrapped my own mind around that. I went and sat on the couch flipping the TV on. It's been a while since I have been able to sit here and watch TV.  Zayn came and we watched the game together. 

"So when do you plan on telling the guys?" I asked. "I don't know I feel bad. I didn't really give them an explanation I just kind of left." He said. "Yeah, so I've heard." I said. "You can always just go back with me we leave in two days after Kenz's recital tomorrow." I said flipping on the game. 

"Can you come to my recital tomorrow Uncle Zayn?" Kenz asked from across the room. "I'll be there Baby K." He said. That was what he called her. They had a special relationship with eachother. 

"I'll go back with you. I promise I won't leave again." Zayn whispered to me.