Strong (Louis Tomlinson's Cancer story)

Chapter 46: It's okay to not be okay

(Louis POV) 

I woke up tp see pitch darkness. It was really hard to breath. It was like warm sticky goo was filling my lungs. It has never been this bad before. I then heard little weeps coming from my right side.

"kenz?" I breathed out trying to find my breath. "d.ddaddy?" I heard her whimper.  "Yes. Daddys here." I said. She cried more. "They said you died. I know you were trying to prepare me for this but It was so hard to stay strong daddy." He said. "It's okay. I'm okay." I said still short of breath.

I tried to scoot over to her voice but my hands had metal cuffs on them. I felt around and felt  they were connected to the wall.

"Daddy I'm scared of the dark." She said. "Can you... come over to me?" I asked her. I heard some rustling around till I felt her warm embrace wrap around me. I am so glad they didn't restrain her too. We sat like that for a few minuets, the only sound being my hard breathing.

"Your not doing well aren't you daddy?" She asked. "I'm afraid not." I sighed. "I..it's okay now daddy. I'll be ready this t..time." She said. I felt her tear fall on my leg.

"Kenz... it's okay... to not be okay." I said. She let out a little cry and hugged me harder. "Good daddy because when they told me you were gone I couldn't keep myself from crying. My heart hurt so much daddy!" She cried into my chest. "It's okay.... I love you Kenz.....Always remember that." I said. "I know daddy.... You can stop talking now. I know it's hard." She said. When did my daughter get so grown up? It seems like just yesterday I was pushing her on an IV pole down the hospital hallway with her laughing her little head off. 

I knew she wasn't alright though. I could hear her silently weep into my chest.  I started to sing her a little part of the song Liam said she heard the night I was loopy. I always sing it to her wither when she is having a bad or good day. We declared it our song. 

"Oh oh....oh..oh

be my...baby

and I'll look....after you"

I sang as best as I could in my condition till I couldn't anymore.

I felt her smile through my shirt. 

"and I'll look after you." She softly sang finishing the song. 

"I love you daddy." She said kissing my chest.

"I...Love you...Kenz" I wrapped my arms around her the best way I could and we soon both fell asleep to the sounds of my non working lungs.