Close | A Spencer Reid Story

33. Air

Spencer's POV

I pushed open the back door. I knew JJ would try to find the most obscure way out.

There she was leaning against the brick wall in the alley.

"JayJ?"

"No," she backed away from me. "No."

I caught her against my chest before she could flee.

"I can't. I can't," she cried with a muffle into my chest, her tears soaking through my shirt.

"What's wrong? You can't what?"

JJ pulled back and roughly wiped her face. "I can't see you with her and just watch. I can't do it anymore. When I see you with her... I can't."

I felt a chill and a shiver course through my body. I could feel JJ pulling away. Not just in that moment, but for good. "I'll leave her." I nodded my head furiously. "Jennifer, look at me." I held her face in my hands, tilting her head to look at me. "I'll end it right now."

"I can't ask you to do that."

"You're not. I love Y/N, but I've always been in love with you. I... I can't not be with you JJ. Not know that I know." I wrapped my arms around her, placing my hand on the small of her back and pulling her closer, until her nose touched mine and we were breathing the same air.

We pressed our lips together, longing for each other's embrace. Around us the world caried on spinning, but I felt like we were frozen in time. I wish we could be this way forever.

I was so enraptured by JJ that I didn't hear the heavy metal back door creak open and slam against the bricks.

It was only the sound of a familiar voice that caused us to break apart.

"Oh my god," Penelope gasped, her hand clamped over her mouth.

A few steps behind her Y/N was speechless as her calm façade slowly crumbled.

I glanced from Penelope to Y/N in horror. I know JJ was doing the same.

"Oh, sweet Jesus." Penelope remembered that although this was a shock to her, Y/N was getting the brunt of it. She placed a consolatory hand on Y/N's arm, as Y/N shivered in despair. Her eyes were glazing over. Her normal upturned smile was long gone. She was in shock. I could see all the signs. And all I could do was stand there and watch.

When I finally get the courage to step towards her, something snaps inside her. "What the fuck," she began repeating under her breath. In her panic, she manically looked around, not knowing what to do or where to go.

Then all of a sudden, she scuttled backwards, whipping around, trying to leave. She ran straight into the entire team as they slowly made their way downstairs, blissfully unaware of what had just gone on. They were worried as Y/N pushed past them with no explanation.

"Y/N?" Rossi called out after her. "What happened?" he asked, turning back to me, Penelope and JJ.

Krystal was equally bewildered by his side. "Is she sick? She looks as white as a sheet."

I try to ignore the questioning glances.

Tara craned her neck to find Y/N weaving though the tables.

Matt and Luke joked with Penelope, trying to turn her stoic expression, but without much luck.

Emily, on the other hand, narrowed her eyes, focussing in on JJ. She had an inkling about what had happened.

I ran after Y/N, making a path for myself. I caught up to her before she was able to slip away. She raced down the sidewalk.

"Y/n?" I halted her by her shoulder.

"No," she warned me. "Get the fuck away from me. Don't touch me." She shrugged me off. "God, I'm so stupid." Y/N stumbled around me trying to hail a cab.

I retracted my hand from her.

"I should have known." She rubbed her forehead, continuing to wave her other hand.

Behind us, Penelope bustled inside with Luke trailing behind her.

"I want to leave," Penelope sullenly drooled.

"What? How are you the first to say that you want to leave?" Luke's arms were raised in confusion. "We usually have to drag you out."

Penelope froze, catching sight of me and Y/n.

Y/N stepped away, creating an excessive distance.

"Y/N..."

"Stop," she hushed under her breath. "There is literally nothing you can say right now that will mean anything."

She shrugged past me, hitting into my shoulder on the way past me. She abandoned the search for cab and disappeared into the stream of passer-byers.

I ran my hand through my hair. This was the last thing I wanted.