Close | A Spencer Reid Story

35. Reckless

Spencer's POV

"Reid, don't be reckless." Matt had run after me when I decided to follow Y/N to her apartment.

"I... I have to explain." I quickened my pace.

"Reid?"

"No Simmons. You don't understand. If I don't explain she'll just hurt."

"It's too late for that." Rossi pulled up outside Y/N's apartment just ahead of us. Clearly, they had all been filled in.

"Rossi," Matt cautioned him. Matt signalled to Krystal to deter Rossi. "She's already hurting. You need to give her some space."

"No, no, no. You don't know her like I do."

"Spencer," Krystal sighed. "Please just think about this. Don't do anything that could make this worse."

"What could be worse," I shouted at the top of my lungs.

The volume of my voice escalated, causing a few lights in some apartments to switch on.

I paced back and forth, debating all my actions past, present, and future.

Then I decided. I bounded up the steps, leaving Matt and Krystal to protest behind me.

I slammed on Y/N's door, hoping that my persistence would help.

"Jesus Christ. I just want to sleep." Faye opened the door while rubbing her eyes and squinting int the light pouring in through the open door. "What are you doing?" she accused when she recognised me.

"Where is she?" I pushed past her and let myself into the apartment.

"Gee, come on in," Faye sarcastically groaned.

On the other side of the apartment Y/N's bedroom door creaked open. "Faye..." Then she saws me. "Leave." She turned to close her door again.

I stopped the door from closing with my foot. I glanced over my shoulders. Faye frowned at me. She still held the front door open with her back.

Y/N continued to struggle to close it. "Get lost. What don't you fucking get about that? I don't want to see you right now. Or ever probably."

I used the weight of my body to resist her pressure. "Y/n..." I grabbed her arms to stop them from flailing about. I steadied her as she squirmed in my hold. "Please. Please."

Y/n froze. She shrunk away from me. But she was docile now. Her eyes welled up. I realised that I'd never seen Y/N cry. Upset yes. But she always hid that away. She was always focused on brightening my mood.

"I... I'm sorry..." I began.

"Stop," Y/N averted her gaze from me.

"No. Just let me." I softened my grip. "I... I do love you."

"Evidently," She scoffed.

"Y/N..."

"Spencer... Just stop. Stop with your excuses. Stop with your... bullshit. I don't want it. I don't want any of it. I didn't want any of this. All I wanted was for someone to love with no conditions for once in my life. Just once. Was that too much to ask for? At the very least I thought we were friends. But I was wrong. You lied to me. You fed me your crap and I just bought it. So you know what. Fuck whatever you have to say. Fuck your apology. Fuck your feelings and especially fuck you." Y/N jabbed her finger with every statement. "Now get out. I can't even look at you." She shrugged me off and swung open her door. She looked away from me, waiting for me to leave. Each of her words felt like stabs to my heart. Somehow, I always ended up hurting the people around me.

I reluctantly shuffled out the door, it slamming behind me.

In the living room, Faye leaned against the wall stood with her arms crossed. She was fuming. A few feet away from her Matt, Rossi and Krystal stood, eyes wide in surprise.

Matt's eyes flickered to me. "Did that satisfy you? This is not the right time." Matt shook his head. "Let's go."

Kirsty took Matt's hand and the pair walked out together.

"Get moving," Rossi yelled, making me jump. Rossi shoved his hands in his pocket. "Keep an eye on her," he requested Faye, passing her is card. "If anything happens. Anything at all. Call me."

The fire in Faye's eyes subsided for a moment but them she noticed me again and it reignited.

Rossi nudged me to leave.

Matt and Kirsty stood beside Rossi's car, quietly murmuring to each other. They stopped as I approached.

Rossi unlocked the car motioning for Matt and Kirsty to get in.

I stepped up to car. "Oh no. He can walk." Rossi carried on putting on his seatbelt. "That traitor isn't sitting in my car. Not today, not ever."

"Rossi," Matt sighed, tired by the event of the night.

"It's fine," I rubbed my head and stepped back from the car. "I could use the air."

And with that the car sped off.