Close | A Spencer Reid Story

57. Coffee

Spencer's POV

Within thirty minutes Ben's lawyer was escorting him out.

"If you have any more questions for my client, contact me first," she chucked her card at Will with a sneer.

Ben walked out with a smile that I wanted to slap off his face.

I sulked away. "I'm going to check in with Garcia."

I found a quiet corner and plonked myself down on the floor.

"The fountain of all knowledge speaking, what can I do you for?"

"Garcia, it's me."

"Still nothing on the recordings Reid." Penelope's deflation was contagious.

"Thanks Garcia." I rubbed my eyes, dropping my phone in my laps.

"Reid?" Emily crouched beside me.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Am I okay," I scoffed. "No! I'm not okay. Because this is all my fault. If I hadn't been an idiot and ruined everything this would never have happened."

"Don't worry we'll find something soon."

I took a breather. "We could try and track other devices. The Kingsley's are well off. From their home you could see that they invested in latest technology. They are bound to have some devices that have tracking features. We should try and get a warrant to get into them."

"Yeah, Yeah," Emily agreed but veered off topic. "Reid... You need to get some rest."

"I can't." I huddled deeper into a ball, pressing my back as close to the wall as I could.

Emily sighed in defeat. "I'll get you some coffee."

"Emily?"

Emily stopped exactly where she stood up from her crouch. "Yeah?"

"I'm a bad person," my eyes welled up.

"No. You just made the wrong choices. That can happen to anyone." Emily stepped to leave.

"But my choices harmed Y/N."

"Reid, I don't agree with what happened. BUT... It's not your fault that Y/N has been kidnapped." She spun around.

"It's not just that. People like me and Y/N, we feel differently. But when we feel we feel hard. My dishonesty. My disloyalty. That would be crushing. Everyone had said that Y/N has been different. That's my fault. I dimmed her shine."

She shook her head. "I'm going to get you that coffee." Emily slinked away, just as the tears spilled out my eyes and trickled down my cheek.

Emily returned with a steaming cup of coffee in either hand. "If you're not going to sleep have this." She presented me with the coffee cup. "Hopefully, you'll stop moping and use that head of yours."

"I'm trying."

"I know. But try harder." Emily gently blew into her coffee to cool it down. The she abruptly stopped. "Why did you do it?" She started at me meaningfully. I think deep down she hoped that my justification would validate my behaviour and make it easier for her to act indifferent about the entire situation.

For some reason I pretend that I didn't know what she was talking about. Forcing her to elaborate. "Why did you hook up with JJ?"

Shame flashed through my eyes. JJ and Emily were friends, of course after we were exposed JJ likely told Emily everything