Close | A Spencer Reid Story

45. Come over

Spencer's POV

Once again Y/N had successfully evaded me. She must have left the hotel extremely early the morning because housekeeping was already clearing her room at 7am.

When I got back from New Orleans, I decided it was better to just dive straight back into work. My bags were still in my car.

The elevator doors slid open, sooner than I expected, I had been lost in my thoughts, and they were all over the place. I took a deep breath and ambled into the bullpen.

"Reid? Why are you here?" Tara looked up from her research documents.

"Aren't you supposed to have today as a vacation day?" Simmons put down his phone and spun around in his chair.

"Err... yeah," I sighed. "But I came back early and thought I would get a head start." I plonked down in my chair, running my finger through the specs of dust that had settled on my desk in the few days I had been away.

"Reid, are you okay? You seem down." Tara skid her chair towards me.

I inhaled sharply, "I'm fine." I continued to clean my desk.

"Reid?"

"It's nothing, Lewis. I mean... Tara." Calling her by her surname made my aloofness more noticeable. I jumped up and dodged the interns to escape into the break room, to drown myself in coffee.

"Spencer, if you ever want to talk..." Tara rinsed her mug in the sink.

"I know. I'll come to you."

"How was the wedding?" Tara was trying to change the topic but she was heading further down the right track.

My face said it all.

Tara hesitantly stepped closer to me and looped her arm around my shoulder, gently rubbing my arm.

Then I blurted it all out. "That could have been us Tara, if I hadn't... If I hadn't just caved. All the memories we created together. All for nothing. All the time we spent brought down in a matter of minutes."

Tara's mouth turned downwards in pity. "Spencer, give her some space. This is even harder for her than it is for you. She needs time to collect her thoughts. Don't overwhelm her. And whatever decision she makes, you have to respect it. If she can't be with you, you can't force it."

"I know, I know. I'm just scared. What if I never feel like that again?"

"Feel like what?" Tara comforted me, as my eyes glazed over.

"Alive, effortless, easy."

Tara nodded slowly as she took it all in.

I wiped my eyes and pushed off the counter. "I better get back to work."

I slumped at my desk and buried myself in paper.

When my phone buzzed later that day, I had to scrounge to find it. The office was mostly empty by then, seeing that it was after 10pm.

I half-heartedly opened the message, knowing it wouldn't be from the who I wanted it to be from.

But my heart skipped a beat when I saw Y/N's name across the top of the screen.

Sorry about how I acted. Come over? I'm at the apartment.

I didn't hesitate for a second. I typed as fast as my fingers would allow that I was on my way. I shot to my feet abandoning my work and bolted to the elevator.

"Reid, what...?" Rossi stumbled backwards as I sprinted past.

The elevator was too slow, it would faster for me to take the stairs. I slammed the wall and scuttled down the stairs.