Close | A Spencer Reid Story

41. I don't want to

Spencer's POV

Penelope and Emily sat in the front, leaving me and Y/N to take the back seats.

As we drove through the traffic of the city, Y/N stared down at her laps, twirling her bracelet around and around her wrist. The silence was eery, even though Penelope and Emily were chattering away in the row in front of us.

Picking up her gaze, she caught me watching her. We both quickly looked away like children caught doing something wrong. I'm sure she was relieved that at least we weren't alone. That way I couldn't say the thing that had been burdening me.

The four of us walked through the parking lot towards the elevator, until Emily's phone rang, and she peeled off from the group. "I'll catch up with you upstairs."

Penelope, Y/N and I boarded the elevator. Penelope and I stood facing the door like usual. But Y/N was always against the curve. She slouched against the side wall.

The elevator pinged open. But not to our floor. A dishevelled, tried young man piled in. "Garcia," he bellowed in elation. "Just the person I was looking for. I need eyes on this case. Please. I will buy you how ever many plushies you want for your office."

Penelope perked up. "Really? Okay. Let's go." She pattered out. She threw her head over her shoulder. "Head on up. I'll be up soon."

Y/N fixed her eyes to the ground as the elevator door closed.

As soon as it did. I couldn't contain myself.

"Y/N."

She ignored me.

"Y/N."

"Isn't it obvious that I don't feel like talking to you." Y/N huffed, rolling her eyes.

"I just wanted to apologise."

She sighed in scepticism. "For what?"

"Everything. Everything. But right now, about involving you in this case. I shouldn't have told JJ."

"Yeah, you shouldn't have," she scoffed. "But it's different rules for us isn't it."

Y/N knew so much about me, and she had always kept it to herself.

"You know, I can count on one hand the people who I told. That was until today." She pulled her arms closer to her chest.

I opened my mouth to apologise again but the doors sliding open interrupted me.

Rossi was standing on the other side, waiting.

As soon as Y/N stepped out Rossi engulfed her in a hug and walked away with her, leading me to trudge behind them.

It doesn't take long for Y/N to come up with a list of names, consolidating the link between the charity and the victims.

"But if they are so low profile, how is the unsub targeting them?" Luke rummaged through the files.

"That's actual helpful. It narrows the suspect pool." I didn't look up from the desk as I spoke. "All the victims are linked to the charity but that isn't common knowledge. That means that the person behind all this is someone who either works at the charity or is a member themselves."

Y/N drummed her fingers on the table.

"What is it?" I knew something was ticking in her head.

The rest of the room turned to look at me in surprise. They didn't know how well I knew Y/N. I knew that she knew something that would help.

"When did the murders start?" She pondered out loud.

Penelope scanned her files. "First body was found two weeks ago,"

"Did something happen?" I took the seat next to Y/N.

"Carter and Kara, where working to fund an independent operation to prevent human trafficking of children out of the US. They finally got all of their funding. Ugo, Angela and Seb had just joined in on the funding. They probably had the biggest shares."

"And you?" I asked her.

"Me?"

"Yeah. Did you donate?"

"Obviously."

"You're staying here." I declared.

"I don't want to." She complained.

"Doesn't matter." I jumped out my seat.

"It never does," she whispered.

I closed my eyes. I wish I hadn't said that.

Y/N phone buzzes. She excuses herself and brushes past me.

"Good one," Tara shakes her head at me as she passes me. One by one I'm left alone.

I'm still wallowing in regret when JJ pops her head around the door again.

"Don't beat yourself up about it, Spence. Stay positive. I'm sure she'll come around."

"I'm not so sure," I rested against the edge of the desk.

JJ leaned against the desk too. "Give her time Spence. Trust me. I was enraged after things ended with Will. But after some time that rage faded."

We stood in silence while I thought about it.

As luck would have it, Y/N appeared in the doorway, scanning the room. As soon as she saw me and JJ, she muttered under her breath. "Sorry."

I pushed off the desk and raced after. "That was nothing Y/N."

"I don't care, Spencer. I really don't care," Y/N commented. "I don't have the energy for it anymore."

Then she stabbed the elevator button multiple times urging the elevator to come up faster.