𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝑺𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒔 • yeonbin & taegyu ✓

°•♡𝟑𝟐♡•°

°•°•♡•°•°
•°♡°•

°•𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊 • the group•°

°•°•♡•°•°

°•𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 • paranoia, mental illness•°

°•♡•°
°•°•♡•°•°

𝖄𝖊𝖔𝖓𝖏𝖚𝖓 succeeded in his plan. it took him about two months, but he did it. the only reason he wasn't alone, free of paranoias and betrayals, was because he needed his guns, and he couldn't get them alone. so when soobin asked months ago if he wanted to go with him, the black haired knew it was his chance.

yeonjun used the others since the start, and when something can't be used anymore, you throw it away. which is exactly what he did.

the black haired sat on a chair, staring at the bags full of guns in front of him. it had been three days since he left the others. in the beginning, he felt so much lighter and at ease, he could finally rest of his paranoiac thoughts and have a clear mind. but currently, he felt slightly guilty, not about all of the others, but about taehyun and soobin.

turns out he did considered taehyun something close to a friend.

and soobin? the male had that soft dimpled smile that yeonjun hated so much, he hated so much because he liked it more than he should, more than he wanted to admit. the black haired deep inside didn't want to leave, but he had to, he couldn't take being with them longer, not when he thought he would get attacked each second.

so yeonjun just wished, he wished he could trust the others, but he couldn't. not after what happened, not with his mind playing tricks on him, not when he was in fact afraid of getting hurt and seeing disturbing things again. the others were fine before him, so they should be fine after him too.

when a week passed, he wasn't sure if he made the right choice anymore. he still felt guilty and couldn't stop seeing the soft dimpled smile, yeonjun hated it, he hated every second and every thought. he hated the scars in his body, he hated how he couldn't stop thinking about what caused them, he hated he felt guilty, he hated he actually cared a little about taehyun and soobin, he hated he couldn't control his mind, he hated even more when he realized that killing infected wasn't the only thing that cleared his mind anymore.

because the fucking soft dimpled smile always made his thoughts stop, and the disgusting images go away. he hated it, so he would never admit it. he missed them. he liked soobin's smile. he was slightly worried. he wanted to go back.

but he wouldn't admit any of that.

yeonjun didn't know what to do anymore. it wasn't hard to know that the others hated him by now, that they wouldn't accept him back. and even if they did, he wasn't sure if his mind wouldn't go back to complete paranoia like it was when he left.

the black haired wasn't heartless, he wasn't a monster or a psychopath. okay, he was cold and didn't know how to express himself, he was arrogant and had a complex of superiority, but the thing he was the most was broken. he already was before the outbreak, and after what happened? he hadn't anything left of himself, only an empty shell that was completely disturbed.

yeonjun got up, he didn't know from where the thought came, but he decided to go back. he was sure they were in the same house considering how beomgyu had his leg broken and couldn't move, and well, broken bones don't heal in a week. the black haired wasn't certain if he would take it, the paranoia, but he would try, because then again, he had nothing left.

maybe his fate was being tortured and killed, maybe he wasn't supposed to escape a year ago, maybe he had to die. so maybe, he could do it without being drown in his own mind.

it only took little more than an hour for him to go back to the house, he didn't go too far when he left. yeonjun stopped in front of the house, looking expressionlessly at the door, he was actually ready to be killed and, deep down, ready to go through all again. that deep down part being influenced by his paranoia.

the black haired put the bags on the floor and knocked on the door. it took a couple of minutes for someone to finally open, and when they did, the first thing yeonjun received was a punch on his face. by soobin.

"you mother fucker! what the fuck do you want?! manipulate everyone to your benefit again and then leave? fuck you!" soobin raised his arm to hit the other again, but yeonjun held his wrist before he could.

"the only thing i needed was the guns, i have then now, so there's no use in manipulating you." he shrugged and soobin got even more mad.

"you think everything's so fine, right?! you left me all fucked to the point i couldn't even walk properly! you left us with only taehyun's gun to protect us when beomgyu had his leg broken! it's your fault! yours!" the taller male started crying, pulling his wrist out of yeonjun's hold and hugging himself.

the black haired didn't say anything, he actually wanted to put soobin in his place but knew he couldn't if he didn't want the male to hate him even more. that's when he thought about what soobin said, what was his fault? they seemed completely fine.

"what do you mean by it's my fault?"

"you fucker!" soobin sobbed, trying to clean his tears with his hands. "because of yo-"

"WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?!" beomgyu screamed from inside the house, he just went down the stairs, after hearing screams at the door. there was a crutch under his left arm, supporting him so his leg wouldn't need to do it. "I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU! YOU ASSHOLE! IT'S- IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! IT'S YOUR FAULT." the screams turned into incoherent whispers and the long haired started crying, so hard he fell on the ground from not having strength to support himself.

"they took him, it's your fault they took hyun." beomgyu hugged himself on the floor, while sobbing. he looked devastated, completely lost, like the most important thing in his life was taken from him. because it was, the love of his life was taken from him and only due to them not being able to protect themselves, because yeonjun left them with only a gun.

yeonjun looked away, he still had a expressionless face because it was hard for him to change it, he was trained to not show emotions and actually liked how no one could ever see his vulnerable side. either way, his mind was a mess, he was being eaten by guilt. turns out, he lost someone he gave importance too.

°•°•♡•°•°
•°♡°•

°•𝖆/𝖓 • write ur thoughts and how much u want to kill me here•°

°•♡•°
°•°•♡•°•°