𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝑺𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒔 • yeonbin & taegyu ✓

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°•𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 • mention of emotional dependence, low self-esteem, self-deprecating thoughts•°

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𝕿𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊 days passed and soobin didn't hear his brother's voice once after he told him and kai about taehyun. beomgyu didn't talk, he just stayed seated on the bed, looking at the wall without any expression, sometimes tears would silently run down his eye, but that was all. kai was always with him, after seeing the torture, he couldn't sleep alone anymore, and since the long haired seemed to need company, being together was the best choice.

soobin was each day more tired, mentally and physically. he had to find food for them alone, beomgyu couldn't do it being injured and kai was too distressed. the tallest couldn't risk letting yeonjun go too, since someone needed to protect the others in the house.

the male was worried sick, beomgyu looked like a dead body, no life in his face, and kai was having nightmares and was restless. soobin tried to help as he could, but he didn't have much time to do it when he had to keep all of them protected and fed. yeonjun was being a huge help, even if not doing much, just being there and protecting them already took a big weight off soobin's shoulders.

the two oldest didn't talk much though, just the necessary, like the taller had asked. yeonjun surprisingly respected that, even if the nickname was still there. soobin would sometimes caught the black haired staring at him, other times he would pay attention on yeonjun's slightly trembling hands or dark circles under his eyes, he ignored it all though.

the brown haired's main focus was trying to talk to his brother now. he was tired but he knew that no matter his situation, beomgyu's was worse. it wasn't a secret how much the long haired loved taehyun, the shortest male was basically his whole world and happiness, he was what made beomgyu keep trying, keep surviving and keep smiling. but he was gone, and all of that left with him.

soobin stared at the door before knocking on it, not sure if he should be doing that. he waited for little more than a minute before kai opened the door, letting him inside. the tallest gave the blonde a small smile, which was returned, and looked at his brother, who was with his back turned to him while staring at the wall.

"gyu?" soobin called softly. he wasn't expecting an answer, not when the older went to the room everyday, trying to talk with beomgyu, and never received a reply.

silence.

"how are you feeling? does your eye hurt less today?" soobin looked down, sad, before averting his eyes to kai, who shook his head from side to side, telling the older that the long haired still wasn't talking.

again, silence.

"i went out today." soobin started to slowly step closer, but not that much. "i found that candy you like, i'll put it he-"

"leave." soobin stopped. beomgyu's voice was hoarse and almost a whisper, but the older heard it loud and clear. after days of keeping quiet, days of soobin trying to talk, the long haired's first words were telling him to leave.

soobin wanted to cry. he felt like a failure, like he couldn't do the single thing he needed to, which was protect his brother. the tallest loved beomgyu with all his heart, he was his brother after all, and he tried so hard to make the male feel better or happy. it wasn't enough, soobin realized that doesn't matter how tired he felt, it still wasn't enough. he should've done better, even if he was trying his best.

the older held his tears, not wanting to make beomgyu feel guilty of hurting him, again, just like when the younger called him stupid when they were locked by cannibal group. soobin knew his brother was hurting, so he also knew he didn't say things he meant, even if they broke his heart.

"okay, i'm sorry for bothering." soobin smiled, looking at kai and doing the same before leaving the room.

as soon as he closed the door, the brown haired closed his eyes, feeling tears welling up. he shouldn't cry, he should try harder. that's what soobin thought, his pain didn't matter when his brother was left with a broken leg, only an eye and a heart in pieces.

it made the male realize, maybe that's why he fell for yeonjun so hard and fast, because he didn't though he mattered, but when the black haired caressed his cheek and showed him the smallest of affections, he felt like he mattered. soobin felt cared and important, so he was addicted to the feeling, a feeling that turned him into a fool but that he couldn't get rid of, that he didn't want to get rid of.

"bunny?" soobin looked to the side, staring at yeonjun while still standing in front of beomgyu's door. he hummed, giving the older a close-mouthed smile. "are you okay?"

the black haired knew he wasn't, he could read in soobin's movements and expressions, but he wouldn't force him to tell anything, not when he himself preferred keeping his bothers. yeonjun understood how uncomfortable could be when people tried to get things out of you, things you wanted to keep bottled inside, so he wasn't about to let soobin go through that.

"yes." he wanted to cry, and scream, and ask for the affection only yeonjun could give and that made him feel momently complete, even if it hurt him after, but he just smiled. "i'm just worried about my brother, but he will be okay. he's the stronger one." soobin giggled before turning around to grab something for kai to eat, his smile dying down when he did so.

for a single moment he almost did it, he almost gave up on his heart to feel the care. soobin almost turned around and forgave yeonjun for everything he did, every pain he caused, just to get the caress on his cheek and the soft kisses. the male wanted to feel complete so bad, he wanted to forget the pain he was feeling, the worry, the blame, the failure, the emptiness.

but he didn't, he kept walking. because the others already thought too lowly of him, so he needed to be stronger, even if it only made things harder and more painful. he wanted beomgyu to be proud of him, to know he was doing his best, and it didn't matter if he needed yeonjun's affection right now.

soobin didn't matter.

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°•𝖆/𝖓 • today's chap is a little late compared to the time i usually post, sorryyy•°

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