smoke | namgi

twenty-one

"those tests you took were false positive, are you trying to convince?" the doctor asked, yoongi felt like crying at that moment. he was so happy, he didn't know what he would do of he were to have another child, minji was already big to him "no, i'm not, thank you" yoongi bowed, he was going to buy pizza to celebrate, as dumb as it sounded.

-

seokjin

how did it go

yoongi

i'm pregnant

seokjin

😃

so uh 😃

when can i schedule the baby shower

are you fr?

yoongi

nah im just playing, im on my way home

im so happy so imma buy some pizza

seokjin

omg pizza

minji wants fries

yoongi

tell her i'll take her tomorrow

seokjin

also

jimin dropped off an envelope

yoongi

oh?

i'll be home in a bit

-

yoongi was curious about what the envelope had, if it wasn't an apology, he didn't want it. it had to be an apology, right? nothing else right?

even if it was an apology, it should be to minji, not him. minji can't read so how would she accept (or not accept) the apology? to say yoongi was mad at jimin was an understatement, he was beyond mad.

just thinking about it made him so mad that he just wanted crash into another car. but he didn't, he had to feed minji.

-

"pizza for everyone!" Yoongi chuckled, setting both pizza's on the table "where was appa?" minji asked with a pout, it looked exactly like yoongi's "i was at the doctor" he simply explained, not knowing what else to say.

"here's the envelope" seokjin said, yoongi sighed and took it into his hands. it said 'from jimin' in messy hand writing.

-

hey yoongi

i figured you blocked my number, i really don't care about that. you're just a fucking crybaby like your daughter. i was only friends with you because you were good at history in high school and i was going to fail without you, there's not much to say.

ps. you should still put minji on a diet

signed,

jimin

-

"where is this dumbass?" yoongi clenched his jaw, seokjin shrugged, he was too busy eating pizza "he's so fucking rude, oh my god" yoongi groaned, minji frowned "no cursing appa!" minji said, yoongi felt the urge to lash out at her but seokjin started speaking "calm down yoongi" seokjin said, putting a piece of cheese pizza in yoongi's mouth which he angrily chewed.

"what is the problem?" seokjin asked, minji watched with concern, yoongi was troubled? yoongi had failed to show a lot of concerns outside of minji's view which now made minji feel anxious and curious at the same time.

"just take this piece of shit paper" yoongi said, handing seokjin the letter and envelope, he read and was completely shocked "yoongi, calm down, i know it's upsetting but you need to breathe" he calmly said, yoongi did as told and sat down, putting his head down on the table.

-

"am i bad parent seokjin?" yoongi asked, his voice barely heard, tears threatening to fall "huh? yoongi, no, what makes you think that?" seokjin asked, yoongi shrugged but he truly knew the answer.

people always judged his parenting style, from the randomest people to his own family members.

when minji was 2, him and minji went to daegu to visit his parents, he remembered his aunt judged him badly for letting minji play with toy cars and wear 'masculine' colors. she also judged him for the way he 'punished' minji. he was judged for not hitting minji and he thought his aunt was insane, he only ever lightly hit minji's hand when she was in danger, example, running into the road or trying to grab a knife.

yoongi cried so hard that day, his whole body was exhausted and minji was the only one who comforted him, his mom would've if she wasn't a work.

minji's sweet "i love you appa, no cry!" kept him going, she even made him a drawing!

-

"appa! bad dream! bad dream!" minji screamed and cried, yoongi rushed to where minji was, carrying her around and rocking her a bit "it's okay, it's not real, appa is here, you're safe" he whispered, minji calmed down, her loud cries reduced to small sniffles and yoongi smiled a bit.

"appa my hero" minji giggled, yoongi smiled widely, he felt so happy, the fact minji looked up to him made him feel like a good father even when he was tempted to think the opposite.

"i need you to go back to sleep, tomorrow we're going to have a busy day" yoongi said, tomorrow was school registration day, he was sad he wouldn't get to see minji all day on his days off, he just hoped she was good at school and people treated her nicely.

"okay appa but when i wake up, can we eat pancakes?" she asked, yoongi laughed and nodded "of course" the boy smiled, putting the girl back on the bed, putting her stuffed animal next to her.

"can you kiss mimi?" mimi was her stuffed bear, it was a build a bear so it cost yoongi a bit more money but minji deserved it and she enjoyed the process of making the bear, he even had a video of minji making the bear and customizing it. yoongi grabbed the bear and kissed the top of its head, smiling when he heard minji's giggles.

-

once minji was asleep, he grabbed his pack of cigarettes and his lighter that he had written his intials in small letter, with that he headed outside.

he lit up the cigarette and put it on his lips, inhaling the toxic chemicals and keeping the smoke in his mouth for a few seconds before exhaling.

after a year or so of smoking, he was pretty much an expert.

he was addicted.

-

hi besties. this is bad but i needed to release this. im excited for the next couple of chapters! qotd: fav song atm? please stay safe everyone! ily! sorry for the mistakes!