Ch. 44: The Big Discussion

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The silence between us was deafening. The air heavy with tension as either I waited for someone else to say something or tried to come up with what to say in my own head.

Dream's arms were still protectively wrapped around me, chin on my shoulder like a warning. I could feel it in him, feel the simmering anger he held towards Sapnap.

Whether it's because Sapnap didn't listen and leave like he ordered, or because of what happened between Sapnap and I, I have no clue.

Sapnap was knelt on the edge of the bed behind me when I looked back. Waiting, gaze begging me to understand.

"Darlin', please say something." Sapnap was the first to break the silence, and I curled closer to Dream's chest at the sting that nickname left in me.

"Don't force her into something. She's hurt, this isn't about you." Dream warned Sapnap lowly, and I reluctantly pulled away because I can't let them fight over me.

"Why were you scared?" I asked, turning to face him once I was up on my knees.

Dream helped me shift around, settling me between his legs with a hand firmly holding my own as a support line. A silent promise that he's here for me.

Sapnap looked hopeful, sitting down on the edge of the bed slowly. "I was afraid if I told you the wrong thing, I'd ruin everything. That you'd...I don't know. That you'd be freaked out or not like it or hate me." Sapnap explained softly, looking down at his hands instead of meeting my eye.

Or perhaps it's the intimidating blonde with his chin on my shoulder that's making it hard for him to look me in the eye. Acting like a knight in shining armor to the point of intimidating his own brother.

"I don't...I think it's also because of you two." Sapnap jabbed a thumb towards Dream. "You're so much closer with Dream and George than you are me. You literally slept between them last night."

"Sapnap, I wouldn't hate you." I promised, because despite the pain in my heart from the rejection I could never. He's my friend. One of my best friends.

I...I could never hate any of them. I care so much about them.

"I ruined everything, anyways." Sapnap muttered, looking towards the opening in the curtains. "I hurt you, you can't even look at me. You flinch when I call you the nickname we chose." I sunk lower against Dream's chest, feeling him tense before settling his free hand on my shoulder and kneading gently to try to help.

"You didn't ruin everything, Sap." I tried to assure him, but he didn't seem to believe me. He moved off the bed, sitting on the steps leading up to it instead.

"I didn't...I didn't want to cuddle you, or kiss you, or anything because I was lonely either. I-I didn't know you..." I hadn't told him about that fear...

Only Dream knew. Because Dream and I talked about it that night when my confusion started spiraling out. Dream promised me that it wasn't true.

But how could I have known if that were true for Sapnap? I knew it wasn't for George just because he and I share so much together. But Sapnap...

He and I don't share as easily as I do with the other two. Things are much more ambiguous between us. Questions unanswered and left to stir.

"You said I'm just the same to you as Dream or George." I reminded him of what he said. Of how I was on the same level as the other two.

"Beautiful, in our defense, you put all three of us on the same level too." Dream joined in at that, and I turned to look back at him in confusion.

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