Home is not a house

Chapter 8

Tw for this chapter: Past Suicide, Past abuse, past neglect, self harm

The boys continued to read through Tommy's file. After the third page of abuse accounts Phil couldn't read it out loud anymore.

"Are you fucking kidding me!" Techno screams, startling both Wilbur and Phil. Techno throws the paper down, stands up and pushes his chair over. It slammed to the ground and he started walking towards the back door. He opened it and walked out before slamming it closed.

"What the fuck was that?" Wilbur asked, looking for the paper. Phil spotted it and grabbed it, reading it over.

"Oh." Phil mumbled softly.

"What is it?" Wilbur questioned again, wanting to know what had caused an outburst like that.

"When he was 11, 12, 13, twice when 14, and once when he was 15, he tried to kill himself. The first three times was attempted overdose, when he was 14 it was self harm and when he was 15 it was by hanging. Each time he was brought to the hospital but released because they 'saw nothing wrong with him'. The families never took him for the follow up appointments, and one family apparently said to the hospital 'we can stop him if he tries to kill himself, that's on him'" Phil explains softly. Wilbur felt the same rage boil up inside of him.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck!" Wilbur screamed, and he followed in Techno's footsteps. So Phil was left alone at the table. He looked over the paper again, making sure he had read it correctly. There was sudden footsteps and when Phil looked up Tommy was standing in the doorway that lead to living room.

"Hey Tommy, we didn't wake you up did we?" Phil asks softly but Tommy just shrugs. "Want to come sit?" Phil asks and Tommy nods. He crosses through the kitchen and to the dining room table. He sits down across the table from Phil as Phil starts to collect all the papers.

"Are they going to be alright?" Tommy asks softly, pointing to the back door. Phil nods and Tommy nods as well. "How was reading through the file?"

"I am so sorry for what you went through." Phil says in response. Tommy looks taken aback, why was Phil saying sorry when he didn't do anything. "Can I talk about some of it with you?" Tommy nods. "Can we talk about the suicide attempts?" Tommy nods again. "I am so sorry that you went through that Tommy. If you ever feel like that here, please talk to one of us. We don't want to loose you."

"You just met me, how could you say you don't want to loose me?" Tommy asks, unaware of the tears that were pricking at his eyes.

"Because everyone deserves to live, and I'm pretty sure Techno and Wilbur both have grown attached to you already. Can I ask why you tried?" Phil asks gently and Tommy nods. He watches as the tears fall as he speaks.

"I felt so alone. I didn't want to be alone anymore. I wanted someone to care. I wanted someone to notice me." Tommy admits and Phil nods yet again.

"Well Tommy I can say when you're here, you're not alone. We all care about you and we see you as you. We know you've been through a lot and we will not put you through more issues like that. I realize growing up in the system is not the life you wanted or deserved but as long as you are here it will be nothing like that. I promise on my life." Phil rants for a moment. Tommy nods.

In all reality Tommy for the first time in a long time, felt so loved. Felt like someone cared. Felt like maybe he could exist without having to apologize for it.

~~~

Wilbur and Techno stood facing the woods just like Phil was doing that morning. They both had their vapes out, both angry beyond belief.