Home is not a house

Chapter 42

Tw for this chapter: Abuse, Rape, Death, Drinking, Drugs, Overdose

Tommy sat in new clean pjs, ones that were dry, with a cup of tea in his hands.

He sniffled as he tried to stop his crying, luckily this time there were no hiccups.

Techno, Wilbur and Phil all sat at the table with him. No one was speaking. No one knew what to say after Tubbo exploded like that and then left.

Tommy was stuck in his own thoughts, about what Tubbo said, about what Puffy said, just everything.

He thought back to when he was laying against the headstone, how it felt to be there with his mom. He went every year on Christmas but he still missed the feeling, feeling like it was something new to him every year.

That's why he only went on Christmas, to give enough time for it to feel new again. That and not every shit house hold would let him out to see her.

"So." Phil cleared his throat. Tommy looked up to him, tears still resting in his eyes, but not falling yet. "Can I ask where you went Tommy?" Phil questioned.

"Puffy already told you." Tommy muttered, looking back towards his cup of tea. It was still warm enough that steam was coming out of it.

"I want to hear it from you." Phil said softly and Tommy nodded, still not looking at Phil.

"I went to visit my mother's grave." Tommy said simply.

"Why did you have to go tonight? Why didn't you ask us to take you? Phil said he would take you whenever." Wilbur pointed out but Tommy shrugged. "Tommy please give us more than a shrug."

"Because I thought it was her anniversary, turns out I was wrong about the date for the past 12 years. But I needed to see her, and I didn't want you guys to say no." Tommy gives as more information.

"We wouldn't say no, I'll never say no. No matter what time it is, no matter what day it is. If you want to visit her I will drop everything to help you go see her." Phil tells him but Tommy just shrugs again.

"What do you mean you were wrong about the date?" Techno asks softly. Tommy looks up to meet his eyes.

"They found me on Christmas, when I was 3. So I assumed that's when she died. Turns out she died a week or so before that." Tommy mumbles. No one knew how to respond to that, there's no polite way to respond to that.

"So you were left as a 3 year old on your own while in a place with a dead body?" Wilbur questions and Phil shoots him a glare.

"That's a bit harsh Wilbur." Techno mutters as he stares down at the table.

"He's right though. I was a 3 year old with a shit filled diaper, crying and covered in dirt before they found me." Tommy says in a harsh tone. No one at the table missed how hurt he sounded.

"I'm so sorry, I never knew." Phil said softly but Tommy shrugged.

"I thought it would be in my file. So I assumed you all knew." Tommy mumbles, bringing the cup of tea up to his lips and taking a sip of the still very hot liquid.

"No, it wasn't. All we knew is she died when you were 3 and your father is in prison." Phil admits and Tommy nods.

"All I knew about her is that she died from an overdose of a bunch of different drugs. She also ran a drug den out of our apartment and she died when I was in the place with her. The only memory I thought I had of her turns out that it was Puffy, so I know literally nothing else about her. The one thing I thought was her, wasn't her. So the only fucking thing I know is she was shit and did drugs in front of her kid." Tommy explains.