Home is not a house

Chapter 15

Tw for this chapter: Past Suicide, past rape, past abuse, self harm

Tommy sat at the table eating his cereal. Tubbo and Ranboo had gone home before breakfast so Techno, Wilbur and Phil across from him. Everyone was silent, just eating their breakfast.

"So." Wilbur said to break the silence, but no one spoke. "So." He repeated again.

"So, what Wil? You gotta finish your sentences." Tommy joked and Wilbur took a deep breathe, letting out a sigh.

It was like a weird switch had flipped in Tommy. He had gone from being shy and nervous, to joking around and acting like everything was fine in a matter of hours. Tubbo and Ranboo had seen this part of Tommy before when they hung out. But to those who hadn't, it was unnerving.

"So what the fuck happened last night?" Wilbur put bluntly. Phil put down his spoon and turned his head to look at his son, mouth still full of food so he could not correct him. "Phil don't give me that look, we're all thinking it!" Wilbur exclaimed, making the very tired and half awake Techno flinch slightly.

"Wil is kinda right. Tommy hasn't talked about last night, and we can't help if we don't know what's going on." Techno said softly, stating his opinion but not being abrupt about it.

"Fine, this is what happened last night. I had a nightmare that I was stuck in an old home again and I freaked out. I left the house and I tried to kill myself. Tubbo found me and I was brought home." Tommy stated, and Wilbur felt a twinge of anger.

"I'm sorry this is over a nightmare? You tried to kill yourself over a nightmare?" Wilbur said in a tone that was more rude than it should have been.

"I thought I was stuck in an old foster home." Tommy said in the same tone.

"So you tried to kill yourself?" Wilbur said, still very harsh.

"Hey you don't get to fucking judge me." Tommy snapped at him, putting his spoon down on the table.

"I'm not fucking judging you, I just can't believe that happened over a nightmare." Wilbur states.

"Oh I'm sorry Mr. Better Life, some of us were raped and abused and starved and used and mocked for suicide attempts in old homes. Some of us wished we were dead on a daily basis and were broken to the point where they were ruined of the rest of their lives. I'm sorry that you don't understand what I fucking went through and I am thankful that you never had to go through that but you don't get to judge me for wanting to end my life instead of going back there." Tommy rambles on and on, standing up from the table.

"Tommy, I'm-" Wilbur started but he got cut off.

"I tried to fucking kill myself because life is hard, and it hurts and I hate it. I lived a life up to the point that no one should ever have to live. And I lived it. I taught myself how to use the stove by the time I was 8 and then was forced to burn my hand on it. I had to learn how to do laundry and then got locked in the dryer as a punishment. I barely knew what shit like sex was but got raped. My life is full of tragedy and it hurts. It hurts getting up everyday and it hurts going to bed every night. And living with you helps sugar coat it but it still hurts. And its always gonna hurt as long as I live." Tommy rants, picking up his bowl and walking to the sink. He dumps the remains of the cereal down the drain and begins to rise off the bowl.

"I'm glad that living with us helps a bit." Techno mumbles.

"I am too, I'm just so fucking," Tommy mumbles before the takes the bowl and throws it against the wall. It broke into a bunch of pieces and all three of them stood up. "I'm so fucking tired." Tommy cried before he sat down on the floor and began to cry again. Techno ran over to Tommy.