Even If It Hurts -H.S. AU

H -40

After I take Violet one of her bags from the car, and leave her to shower upstairs, I find myself wandering out to the back porch.

I sit on the top step of the stairs that lead down to the grass and realize I'm directly across from the mother-in-law house, which seems to be staring at me. My old house. I've seen it a thousand times in the last five years, but today, looking at the front door, it gives me an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

I haven't actually been inside since the day Violet left. Since the day I gave her no choice but to leave. I lean forward and hang my head in my hands, resting my elbows on my knees.

I knew coming home would be tough on her, and seeing my mum again would be emotional, but I wasn't expecting this. I couldn't make out anything that was said from inside the house, but it was clear in the tone of her voice that she was talking through sobs. When I came outside and saw how puffy and red her sweet face was from crying, it tore my fucking heart out.

I dig the heels of my palms into my eyes, trying to keep the moisture threatening to spill out at bay. I hear the door open behind me and clear my throat before I quickly wipe underneath my eyes.

"It's me." My mum says knowingly and I exhale a relieved breath. I don't want Violet to see me like this. She sits down next to me on the step and leans her shoulder into mine. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Are you moonlighting as a therapist in your spare time?" I say sarcastically and wipe under my eyes again before I turn to face her.

"With you lot around? Absolutely." She cocks an eyebrow at me and smiles. "You both have always been very passionate and intense, some things never change."

"How do I know I'm doing the right thing bringing her back here?" I ask softly and kick a rock off the bottom step to avoid eye contact with her. "She thanked me for bringing her here, but so far she's been nothing but upset and lost in her head since the second we got off the plane."

"Harry, she's healing." Mum says assuredly and I whip my head around to look at her.

"She was just sobbing in your arms, how is that healing?" I ask dubiously and she gives me a small, somewhat sad smile.

"I wouldn't expect you to know what that looks like." She says firmly, and I lean away from her a little, wondering if I should be offended. "You've never allowed yourself to heal, from just about anything in your life, and I know you don't need me to tell you that."

"Damn." I mumble and she laughs under her breath at the expression on my face.
"I just don't want her to regret coming home with me." I say, trying to redirect the conversation away from myself.

"Violet loves you." Mum says, making me look at her again. "She hasn't been home in almost a year, but came with you the second you asked, even though she knew it would be painful for her."

"I didn't exactly ask." I mutter. "I sort of forced her into it, since I had already booked the jet."

"Oh, please." She rolls her eyes at me and shakes her head. "We both know that girl does not do a single thing she doesn't want to do." I nod my head in agreement and smile softly to myself. "She came because she loves you, Harry, and she wants to move forward...with you."

"She scares me." I mumble truthfully.

"She's supposed to." Mum says, and I can hear the smile in her voice, without even looking at her.

"We haven't talked about what exactly we're doing, yet." I say quietly, not really sure why I'm bringing this up to my mother, but she just has a tendency to pull things out of people.