Even If It Hurts -H.S. AU

52

We've been sitting in silence for about ten minutes as I stare out the passenger window of the car.

It's our last day here, and I told Harry I felt like there was one more thing I needed to do. He didn't ask any questions and immediately grabbed the keys. I honestly felt really stupid even asking. I almost told him to forget it and take us back home, but when we pulled up to the curb and rolled to a stop, I knew it was good that we came.

I stare at the house, my house- my old house, and I don't recognize it.

The faded grey paint I remember it having is now a light blue, with white shutters. The windows that used to receive no light, due to the always shut curtains, are now open, and life pours out of the glass. The neatly cut yard is filled with children's toys, which clashes with the meticulously cared for rose bushes that now line the front steps. The abundance of toys, and the pristine condition they're in, tells me that the parents of these children don't mind one bit that people know they live there.

"It looks different." I say quietly, breaking the silence. "It looks how it's supposed to."

"How's that, baby?" Harry asks, squeezing my hand in his, that I didn't realize I had taken at some point.

"It looks lived in," I laugh softly and shake my head, "it looks full of love and laughter. Like a home."
A light flicks on in the living room of the house and I smile to myself.
"It doesn't look haunted anymore."

Suddenly, the front door opens, and two little kids rush out, backpacks slung off their shoulders. A woman follows quickly behind them, a coffee cup in her hand and a huge smile on her face. She bends down and sets her cup on the porch to zip up the little boy's jacket, and brush her daughter's hair out of her face before she stands again.

I watch as the kids hug their mother goodbye and run out to the school bus waiting for them on the other side of the street. I squeeze Harry's hand with both of mine when their mother blows them a kiss, watching the bus pull off before she heads back inside. Once the door closes behind her, I'm finally able to tear my eyes away.

When Harry sees the look on my face, and the tears welling in my eyes, he immediately holds the side of my face in his hand and pulls me into him. He kisses my forehead gently and I exhale a laugh at the way I'm reacting to people I don't even know.

"I don't even know why I'm crying," I sniffle and pull back to look at him, "but I think they're happy tears."

"Any kind of tears break my heart, baby." He says softly and swipes his thumb across my cheek.
"It's been hard seeing you go through such a rollercoaster of emotions since we got here." He admits softly and I pull back to look at him.

"Harry, I couldn't have done this without you." I confess quickly, realizing I haven't said these words out loud. Despite having thought them many times.
"I wouldn't have done this without your encouragement and you pushing me to face these hard things."

"Vi-"

"No, I mean it. Please listen to me." I cut him off and he sighs, his eyes softening as he looks at me.
"Seeing Anne, going to my mom's grave and making things right with my brother? Harry, I couldn't have done a single one without you supporting me. I'm honestly not sure if I would've come home again, if I didn't have you by my side."
I squeeze his hand in mine, making him look up to meet my eyes and he smiles sheepishly at me, like he's shy all of a sudden.
"I meant it when I said we make each other better. It wasn't as scary confronting these hard things knowing you were there to catch me if I fell. You've reminded me how capable I really am and I feel like I'm able to move on and grow from this chapter of my life now that I've faced it. So, thank you, Harry."