Even If It Hurts -H.S. AU

H -71

Three weeks after

It's been two weeks since we left the hospital, four days after she woke up.

After she broke down and exhausted herself enough to sleep, the doctor was able to stitch up her hand and someone cleaned up the broken glass in the bathroom.

I've never seen her react like that before.

I've never seen her so out of her mind that she didn't even look like herself. The distant look in her eye when she finally met my eyes sent a chill down my spine. Violet and I have been through a lot together, but this is different. I've never been this scared before.

When she woke up the next day, it was like she was a different person. All of the light in her eyes was gone, and all that remained was emptiness. She could barely even make eye contact with Cam or Phoebe when they came in the room. The only ounce of feeling she had left she seemed to give to her brother. One tear spilled out when he came into the room and wrapped her in a hug.

By the fifth day in the hospital, Violet was completely drained. I thanked everyone for coming and for their support, but it was time for them to go home. Mia and I had it out in the waiting room. I told her and Niall that Violet wasn't up to anything and I had to physically restrain her from getting past me until Niall stepped in. She yelled and screamed at me with tears pouring down her face. Despite the ache in my chest seeing her like that, and knowing all she wanted to see her best friend with her own eyes, I just didn't think it was a good idea.

Violet was sleeping anyway. She slept for another two days until we were cleared to leave.

We have both taken time off work, of course, but I've been sneaking in some business when I can just to keep myself busy. The alternative if I don't is hovering over Violet, and we all know how that ends up every time.

It's not like she's running away and trying to hide or distance herself from me. She's always right where I know I can find her. The strange thing is, that's what makes me worry more. You'd think I would be relieved that she's staying in bed to rest and let herself heal, but it's having the exact opposite effect. It terrifies me.

She hasn't left our bedroom in a thirteen days.

If she's not showering, she's in bed. She's been sleeping a lot, but sometimes when I check on her, she's awake, just laying on her side with her eyes open. She'll be drawing shapes on the sheet with her finger, or picking at her fingernails. Sometimes she watches what she's doing with her hands, other times she just stares at nothing.

I try to make sure she's eating and staying hydrated. I take her food to eat three times a day and leave bottled water on the nightstand for her. Usually when I come back for her plate it's mostly untouched, just moved around. I'm always glad when I find a few bites taken out, but I think she does it just to humor me.

The only time I feel like she really knows I'm there is at night. We've developed a routine. When I climb in bed with her, anywhere from eight to nine-thirty at night, she's facing away from my side of the mattress and the covers are folded back, inviting me in.

I savor this every night. Sometimes I get in bed with her before the sun even goes down, just because I crave feeling close to her. I curl around the back of her body and pull the covers up over us both. Her hands slide over my arm to hold me back and I bury my face in her hair. Sometimes she turns her head toward me to place a soft kiss against my temple, but usually, I press my lips against her forehead and we quickly fall asleep.