Even If It Hurts -H.S. AU

84

"Vi, look at me." Harry says with his hands placed lightly on my shoulders.

My gaze remains trained past the curtain and on the hundreds of people sitting in the audience, waiting for me. I'm clutching pieces of notebook paper in my hand, the speech I finally managed to write out scribbled across the pages.

"There's a lot of people out there." I mumble, still not looking at him.

"Baby-"

"Harry, what if I can't-"

"Look at me, baby." He pleads softly and I finally turn to face him. He gives me a soft smile and inhales a deep breath through his nose, leading example for me. I inhale and exhale heavily, dropping my shoulders under his touch.
"Good." He says proudly and slides one hand up to the curve of my neck. "You can do this, Vi."

"Yeah?" I squeak, needing the reassurance from him now more than ever.

"Yes, baby." He responds firmly, but drops his hands from me. "Here..."

I suddenly feel cold and strangely weightless, like his hands on me were the only thing keeping my feet on the ground. For a moment, I wish I would just float away and forget I ever agreed to do this.

He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his wallet. I watch, confused, until he holds up a Polaroid that's discolored and bent at the edges.
"Harry..." moisture forms in my eyes when I look at the old picture he took of me. His knees are on either side of my body and my hands are stretched out toward the camera as I lay under him. There's a huge smile on my face and the scar that still adorns my head is almost brand new.

"Don't worry about all those people, Vi. Don't talk to them." He taps the back of the photo with his finger and I look up at him with big tears threatening to roll down my face. "Talk to her."

"I can't believe you still have this." I laugh softly and wipe underneath my eye when a tear escapes.

"I wasn't kidding when I said I'm obsessed with you." He says firmly, taking my face in his palms. He squishes my cheeks, making my lips purse and he places a soft kiss on my mouth.
"You got this, baby. I know it."

"Thank you." I say softly and try to blink back more tears in my eyes.

"Please give a warm welcome to our next guest...Violet Parker!"

My head snaps around toward the stage and I feel the color drain from my face when I hear Dr. Miller give the introduction for me.

"Oh fuck me." I mumble when applause rings out from the audience. I hear cheers that I know belong to Phoebe and the rest of my girls and a loud whistle that has to be Cam.

"You can do this, Vi." Harry says assuredly and leans forward to place a kiss on my temple.
"Go." He says and pats my ass lightly, urging me to move toward the stage.

My feet feel like they weigh a hundred pounds, but I somehow manage to walk up the stairs at the side of the stage. The applause gets louder when I come into view of the audience and I can feel myself going into professional autopilot. I've been trying to think of this event like I do my pitches for work.

Except, I'm not trying to sell my business. I'm trying to sell myself? Maybe that's not the best way to think about it after all.

I shake my head slightly and place my papers with the highly rehearsed and thought out words on them in front of me on the podium. The Polaroid Harry gave me is still in my hand, the girl in it staring up at me.

I lift my eyes as the applause die down and scan over the auditorium they reserved inside the university for the event. So many women. Young women. Some my age or older, and some just out of high school on their very first adventure.