It's been a week and a half...quite honestly I'm proud of how well I've ignored and pushed down my feelings!
Granted it'll probably come back to bite me in the ass at some point but I much prefer to go to some fake normal routine, keeping myself occupied with whatever I can and holding off my emotions by exaggerating others.
So instead of sulking in my room I'm out reading and teasing the team acting like I've got infinite energy and my social battery is endless, when really half the time I'm so exhausted I feel like crying. I remember this used to be my way of living when I was a teen... acting through every interaction risking my mental health just to please everyone to try and make everyone like me hoping that way I'd feel like I was worth it.
It's almost an automatic reaction at this point, one I've long tried to erase. I know it always ends up breaking down on me but if I can just hold on for a bit longer then maybe...maybe it will all be okay?
Currently I'm glued to a new book saga, the second one this week, and I drag it everywhere with me almost like it's an extension of my body. I used to think escaping into a fictional world would solve it all, turns out I manage to appear into the marvel universe and I'm still just as unstable!
Maybe I just want to be someone else? Yes, it's not about being in my favorite book or movie, it's about being someone else stronger and more fitting for the environment.
A hand taps on my shoulder snapping me out of my daze and I remember to put on that fake smile I promised myself to never again make daily use of, turns out I'm a liar even to myself!
It was Pietro as expected, he was a really cool guy honestly, best of them all at distracting me. I suspect he understands what's actually happening to me, I've caught the way he eyes me worriedly when I keep quiet for too long. Knowing him I'd believe he too used to faking it till you make it through life and knows how exhausting and harmful it gets.
"Hello princesa!"
I watch as he leans over my shoulder peaking to see what I was reading but I snap my book shut before he gets the chance to see anything.
"Why hi, speedy Gonzales!"
He rolled his eyes as he very obviously hatted that nickname but at the same time couldn't get angry about it.
"We're all waiting for you, sweets. I've been sent to pick you up, since you said you'd be ready around 15 minutes ago!"
Looking at the time my eyes go wide and I cuss, that's right we were going out for dinner and I'd promised to be ready for around fifteen minutes ago!
I was still in house wear!
"Shit I don't have time to dress up!"
That got a smirk from Pietro.
BINABASA MO ANG
My soulmate EDITING!
FanfictionLoki's grown accustomed to hearing his soulmate sing the weirdest songs, and over his time locked in his cell he's started to find them entertaining. Even funny how his soulmate would very rarely sing seriously and mostly sang horribly on purpose, h...
