Mr. Moneybags | jb

Chapter 24 - Purpose

After we got back to Justin's place, we had a glass of wine together and then everyone was off to bed. Everyone, but Pattie and me stayed at the guesthouse. Justin and I were the last ones to be up. We aimed to finish the bottle and cuddled on the couch. Honestly, I believe we simply both were way too lazy to get up which is why we hadn't gone to bed yet, but anyways I liked cuddling with him so I wasn't complaining. What am I saying here? Oh my god, what's wrong with me?

"Can I ask you something?" I started.

"Sure. What's up?" Justin looked at me expectantly.

"This whole purpose thing you got going, do you really believe in all that or do they make you say this so it's more authentic?"

"No, Emma. I'm way past the point of people telling me what to say." He chuckled and I could feel his chest vibrate underneath me. I looked up at him with a smile and we locked eyes as he went on. "I do believe that. We all have a purpose." Justin smiled sweetly down at me.

I nodded and rested my head back on his chest. What a huge load of bullshit! I furrowed my eyebrows. "So what if people die?" I wondered.

"Then they fulfilled their purpose." I raised my eyebrows at him in disbelief.

"So people that die are no longer needed on this planet? Is that what you're saying?"

He nodded. "That sounds harsh, but I believe god only let's us go once we fulfilled our purpose."

"So a three-year-old baby that dies today fulfilled its purpose?" I frowned at him.

"I don't know, Emma. I think so. We may not get all the things that happen but they happen for a reason." He trailed off. I nodded. We went silent for a while as I took in his words and enjoyed another sip of my wine. What a load of bullshit!

"Why are you even asking?"

"I don't know. I guess because I don't feel like I have a purpose... I don't understand why I'm here... It doesn't make sense." I admitted truthfully as tears sprung to my eyes.

"Hey" Justin picked up my chin and tilted my head so I was forced to look at him. His face held the most sincere and genuine expression. "Of course you have a purpose. The world of music probably still needs you for something and there were a lot of people here today that don't wanna miss you in their lives, including me." I nodded and he kissed my forehead. "You may not know your purpose right now, but you will find it one day. Have a little faith."

"Faith in what? God? The universe? My lucky charms?" I bursted as my eyes watered some more. "Whoever is responsible is one hell of an idiot! It doesn't make sense. There is no good reason for the things that happened! There couldn't possibly be..." A couple of tears escaped my eyes as Justin hugged me tightly to his chest. Every now and then he placed a kiss on my hair. He held me for a few minutes as my head was spinning with his words. Eventually I calmed down and had even more questions.

"When you said that there were people here today that don't wanna miss me in their lives... were you saying that our purpose lies within the relationships we have with other people?" He nodded at me.

"It can for sure, yes." He paused. "Don't try to force this right now. One day you will find your purpose, just stay strong, Emma."

I ignored the last part and carried on with my interrogation. "So when we die we are no longer needed here? People don't need us anymore, is that what you mean?"

"I don't connect it to death all the time, Emma. I don't know why people have to die. Nobody knows. I believe that this holds true for as long as we live."