Mr. Moneybags | jb

Chapter 13 - Europe

Finally, I was on my way to Germany. Because I would be traveling a lot in the next couple of days I had treated myself to business class flights. I was going to Frankfurt via New York to visit my Grandma and after that I would spend a couple of days in Berlin, then I had decided to chip in a few days in London before I would make it to Hawaii in time for Christmas. I would have to change flights in London anyways and then again in LA. I was looking forward to seeing my family and friends again, but also anxious for their questioning regarding how I was dealing with things and so on. Still, I needed this and the break was over due for all of us. I reminisced about my last couple of days in Canada and from how things were at the farewell dinner I could tell it was good for me to get out for a while.

Chelsea's words kept going through my head though... she was so sure that I liked Justin, how come? I mean yes, he had marched into my life and things had happened, but then again nothing happened. We slept in the same bed twice and didn't even kiss. So what was everyone going on about? Why did it seem like the whole world wanted me to end up with Justin Bieber? Was I really that blind? Was I fooling myself? I couldn't wrap my head around it. Things were just so weird. Also, why would people keep telling me he liked me? I mean why me out of all people? I kept telling him time and time again that I didn't want him, right? So, why the hell would he pick me to like and not someone like Torrie who liked him too? It didn't make any sense. The longer I thought about things the weirder it all got. I decided to just let it go for the time being. After all it would probably be a while before I would see him again and it wasn't like we were texting or anything. So, we both had time to forget about each other and that was a good thing. Also, I decided people thought way too much about this and put thoughts and ideas into my head and I wasn't having it.

On my layover in New York I shot Chelsea a quick text to shut this down once and for all.
"Hey, I've been thinking a lot about what you said to me the other day... you really messed with my head 😅 anyways, I just wanted to say this one thing... I have a lot going on at the moment - ask Justin if you want, and the last thing I need right now is boy trouble. So, I've decided to let it all go. There's nothing going on anyways. 😉 Merry Christmas! 😘"

I shut my phone and put on some music as I boarded my next flight. I had already left Canada and made the decision to leave the trouble there for the time being. It would be a while before I was coming back and either the trouble had evaporated by then - which I assumed as Mr. Moneybags would be long gone - or I would cross that bridge when it appeared or whatever they say. For now there was nothing I could do anyways. Also I found that if I really liked him, and I'm saying if here, then I would probably know by then too because I would have to miss him or at least think of him if I did that. That was all it took for me to make my peace with the events and now I was ready for Europe.

Nana was really happy to see me again and grateful I was doing fine. It was good to spend time with her. Then I was off to Berlin. I went to the cemetery, shed a lot of tears and met up with my aunt Suzy who had been like a mother to me ever since the accident. Also I met up with my cousin Rico and his family. They were all happy to see me again and after an initial interrogation on how I spend the anniversary they calmed down and found I was doing okay. Of course I didn't tell anyone about Justin, all I told them was that I spent the anniversary with friends, which technically wasn't a lie. However, they didn't like my idea of going to Hawaii for Christmas and same as my nana they asked me a million times if I was sure I didn't wanna spend the holidays with them - yes I was sure!

In Berlin I also met some friends from school, we had moved here after New York and I had finished high school here. They obviously questioned me about music and what I was doing and they were all shocked I still wasn't playing, well surprise! I really didn't get what part of "I'm giving up music for good." People didn't understand. Anyways, it was painful but I managed.

Eventually though I got asked about Justin... Apparently the media published pictures of us dancing at that club and watching hockey the next day and now thought I was his girlfriend or whatever. The questions annoyed me, but I told people the story with a lot of eyerolls and at some point they shut up about it. I didn't care about what the media was saying about me or my relationship to Justin, but it annoyed me that now everyone knew and even more people asked me about it, thought about it, had opinions about it and just generally brought the whole topic up while I just wanted to let it go. Anyways, things quieted down as I wasn't seen with him again.

Then I was off to London, real London, where I met with my Uni friends. We went out for drinks and I had fun, it was a good thing I went here. They all loved to see me again. Contrary to my family - who simply didn't understand - they envied me for going to Hawaii for Christmas. While in London I also briefly spent time with my godfather Elton. He also offered me to stay for Christmas but understood I wanted to go away. Him and his family were the only ones I actually considered staying with, because ever since my dad passed Elton had been like a father to me and they were understanding and supportive no matter what I did. They allowed me to handle things my way and didn't try and force me to deal with things in a certain way they found to be right, like my family. Still I was gonna pretend Christmas wouldn't happen and therefore I wouldn't be celebrating it - with nobody!

I had been in rough contact with the girls via text, but not much as we were all busy catching up with friends and family. Chelsea had called me about my text and told me she understood and would let it go. I hoped she actually would. Every once in a while we exchanged photos and once we face timed. The kids were really happy to talk to me and honestly I already missed them. As far as the boy trouble was concerned I didn't think about Justin much. We weren't speaking and no - I did not miss him. To be honest I was afraid people were right, and I was more than relieved to find I really didn't like him and wasn't playing myself, because what I wrote Chelsea was more than true. I had enough bullshit on my plate already and didn't need more trouble in my life.

Overall my trip to Europe went surprisingly smooth. No breakdowns, no more problems, I actually felt like I was healing. It was such a good thing I had moved to Canada away from all this and started over with new people. They didn't know and therefore didn't treat me any different while at the same time that forced me to pull myself together and I was holding up just fine. Actually I was a little proud of myself.