Mr. Moneybags | jb

Chapter 27 - Hanging by the Pool

After breakfast we all hung out in Justin's garden. The guys went fishing with the kids and us girls hung out on the loungers by the pool. Pattie had just gone inside to make some calls or something when Chelsea started the talk...

"So?" She smirked at me. I knew where this was going. A smirk spread across my face. "You and Justin or what?" I chuckled. "Come on, say it! I was right all along wasn't I?" She stated proudly. I shook my head chuckling.

"Fine. Maybe I like him a little..." I trailed off and laughed.

"Oh come on Emma! Just admit it already."

I sighed. "Fine. I like him and you were right about that. Everything else we'll see. Time will tell." I told her honestly.

She laughed. "Yes!" Chelsea exclaimed and I laughed.

"So, how was it?" She wriggled her eyebrows at me obviously referring to last night. I smirked at her. "Sounds good." She smirked back at me.

"Honestly -" I cut myself off and made sure nobody was listening. I really didn't need Pattie to eavesdrop on this. "It was probably the best I've ever had." I bit my lip before giggling.

"Woah!" Chelsea laughed! "These Bieber men, I'm telling you..." we both laughed out loud before fistbumping each other.

"Oh my god... damn!" I exclaimed. "Us lucky girls." I laughed.

After a moment we calmed down and went back to tanning. For some reason I couldn't wipe that huge smirk off my face thinking about last night...

"So how do you feel about it? Not trying to sound like your therapist or anything." Chelsea laughed.

"I don't know... it's weird... I mean there were reasons why I didn't wanna get involved with him. Partly they were stupid and I know that now, but some of them are still existent... I still don't know if this is such a good idea..." I trailed off.

"Hm..." Chelsea made. "Maybe you should talk about it... some of them surely will evaporate once you do that." She smiled at me.

"I don't know..." I sighed. "The reasons why I shouldn't get involved with anyone in the industry won't evaporate." I laughed unwilling to elaborate on my involvement with the label. "Also, I don't know... I don't feel like I deserve to be happy." Chelsea shot me a questioning look. "No, I mean not in the way I don't deserve it, that's not it... more like I don't know if it's okay for me to be happy when things happened..." I sighed. If I wanted her to help me I would have to explain.

"My family died in a car accident two years ago..." I gulped. "How can I ever be happy without them in my life? That would just be downright ungrateful and rude wouldn't it? I know they'd want me to be happy and so on, and I certainly am in a way living my life and all, but I can't be the 'I-just-fell-in-love-and-feel-like-hugging-the-whole-world-kinda happy' you know?" I paused. "That would mean I don't care that they're not there anymore, that I don't miss them, that I don't suffer from not having them in my life, that it doesn't matter they're not here with me anymore, wouldn't it?" I wondered.

"First of all, I'm so sorry Emma! You shouldn't have to suffer that ever - nobody should. I wish I could've been there for you." She sighed. "About the rest... no it wouldn't. Emma I told you before - what happened is in the past and you need to move on, you can't escape that. Let me put it this way: would it help your family or make them feel better if you never let yourself fall in love? If you never actually live but only exist?" I shook my head. "If you feel like you owe them something then it is to actually live. Enjoy life to the fullest! They don't get to do that anymore and I'm sure they don't wanna see you anything but happy." I thought about it. She was right yet again. I owed that to them - especially Max!