Mr. Moneybags | jb

Chapter 45 - Back on stage

A little bit of fetus Justin for you guys 😍

I personally miss the 2015 what do you mean-Justin, but that's just me 😄 I also liked the 2016 Grammys Justin 😍, weird how he looked older then than he does now 😂

What's your favorite?

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After the reception we all had an early dinner together. Being part of the family we sat at the top table. The food they served was surprisingly good. Also the decorations were beautiful. I was glad to see all our work of the past couple weeks paid off. Everything was held in a white, black and yellow color theme. The bouquets had matched that as well and this was also why the bridesmaids dresses were black. Chelsea and Jeremy were huge batman fans hence the color theme.

Justin introduced me to a bunch of people. Cousins, old family friends and I also met Chelsea's extended family. They were all lovely people and very welcoming toward me. I got treated like family right away which caused warmth to spread in my heart and it felt so good. Also talking to people kept me distracted which was a good thing because with every minute that passed I grew more and more nervous for the performance. I was mentally cussing myself for agreeing to this. Part of me was really excited though too. Still I felt a lot of pressure - most of it surely coming from within myself because people didn't expect me to be good anyways. It was my first time performing again though and I wanted it to be perfect. I hold myself to high standards and expect a lot of perfection from myself because I know what I'm capable of. If this performance doesn't go well tonight I'll mentally scold myself for it for a while.

"Emma?" Justin's voice pulled me from my thoughts. I looked up at him and away from my plate which I had been staring at. Apparently I had also mindlessly moved my food around. Gosh, I can't eat right now.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just not hungry."

"What's wrong?" Justin asked me with concern in his eyes.

"Nothing. I'm fine. Just not hungry." Truthfully I felt a little sick. Since when do I react so strongly to pre-performance anxiety? I am used to this. Damn, I've been performing on stages for all my life since I was a kid, why the hell am I so nervous? Justin's arm draped around my back I let my head fall onto his shoulder. Get your shit together, Emma! Justin's hand caressed my shoulder and I drew in a breath before sitting back up and looking at him with a small smile on my face.

"You nervous?" Justin chuckled. Thanks for enjoying my misery yet again! I rolled my eyes at him and he full on laughed. "You are." He stated with a smirk.

"I don't know what's wrong with me seriously. This is what I've been doing for as long as I can remember." I hid my face in my hands.

"It's okay. I get it. You haven't performed in a while so... I was like that after the little break I took." He paused. "Just know that there's nothing to be afraid of. You are amazing. Don't worry - you'll blow them all away. Especially since they don't expect anything from you. They all don't know what you're capable of." Justin squeezed my thigh under the table to reassure me as I nodded at him.

"I know but still. I know what I'm capable of - that's enough." Oh boy.

"I know. Don't put too much pressure on yourself though." Justin smiled my favorite little smile at me.

We had desert and to distract myself I chatted with people and goofed around with the kids for a while. Then it was time for Lily and me to go and get the cake. We had ordered one that matched the color theme and had a batman cake topper.