Mr. Moneybags | jb

Chapter 42 - Healing

(A/N: This is the kind of voice I picture for Emma. She can sing opera as well though. She's probably not the best at it, but she had a lot of training and singing lessons to be able to sing that way.)

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We had another day in Ibiza and then we were off again. Justin headed to Israel and South Africa for some more shows and the rest of us boarded another jet back to Canada. Johnny had booked himself on a flight straight back to LA as he had work to do there. I really didn't wanna let Justin go again but we got a good week together which was all I could ask with his busy schedule really, so nobody's complaining. Also the week was more than awesome and I enjoyed every single moment so damn much.

Our last day and night on the island consisted of both parties making sure Jeremy and Chelsea got the ultimate Bachelor/ Bachelorette treatment and we celebrated them to the fullest.

Paris had decided to join me in Canada for a couple of days and I was more than happy to have her with me. I made sure to show her around in London, take her to my favorite spots and introduce her to people. We also took a trip to Toronto and went to my favorite bar so she met Dave as well. Afterward I took her to the club where I overdid it a little leading to Justin taking care of me back in December. I got a bit thoughtful remembering how much had happened since and how much my life had changed - all because of him. Happiness bubbled inside of me seeing where I was at now.

Way too soon Paris headed back to LA and I kept myself busy with finishing up the semester. Even though I wasn't sitting any Exams, I still had to hand in papers and coursework. There were some group projects and presentations due as well. Because of my thorough preparation, however, it wasn't too much work and my last semester in Canada was about to end.

Without letting anyone know I purchased a house in London and organized an army of helping hands who renovated and decorated the place. This house would be for me and Justin whenever we came to visit his family. I was sure I would come back a couple times in the future to visit friends aside from his family as well. My time in Canada had been more than amazing and I made some friends for life. Also a part of me hoped that I had found my future husband here. Time would tell, but the year had been so intense for me that I wanted to keep the people who took part in my journey in my life. London had become a part of me, so it deserved a house. Almost every place I had lived at had a place for me to remember it by and to be able to come back.

Aside from the house I was busy talking to Dr. Meyer at least twice per week and help Chelsea with wedding preparations and the kids. I watched them a few times so she could run errants or I made calls, ran errants myself, you name it. Chelsea had basically turned me into a wedding planner. It was a bit annoying because it was stressful, but then again she had done so much for me that I owed her my life basically so I was ready to do whatever. Also, whenever I was busy with something I didn't have time to miss my boyfriend too much.

Justin and I had gone back to our FaceTime sessions. At the moment it was all we got and though it sucked not being able to physically be with him, FaceTime was better than nothing.

Whenever I had a spare moment, I played. My flat was a complete mess. Every inch was covered in paper. Since Ibiza I felt so inspired that I wrote and composed as if my life depended on it. It seemed like I was putting out all the words and notes, I had kept inside during the time I didn't do music. Playing and writing was so much fun, I loved it and enjoyed myself so much. Also, I found it to be a great form of therapy as it helped me process the events of the past. The music allowed me to put out my emotions and say all the things I couldn't say. There were letters to Max, my parents, family, songs expressing my feelings of being lost without the most important people in my life. I shed a lot of tears writing and composing, but every time I finished a piece, I felt better - like a little bit of weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I could literally feel myself closing some issues one after the other, making my peace with things whenever a piece was done. My therapist liked it, too. Sometimes I'd bring lyrics to the sessions to be able to express myself better. Then I would explain how I felt after completing the piece and we kinda got to tick off one of my issues. It was phenomenal how well it worked and what incredible progress I was making. Also it felt so easy - writing, composing, doing music wasn't hard for me. Expressing myself through music had always been so much easier and even though it was hard to deal with my issues and face my inner demons, it was so much easier than talking about it.