I...killed our mother... so I don't blame you for hating me...I'm also the reason why father had left us...so I don't blame you for ignoring me...But...I wished you would have loved me...just for one time...just once...even if it means my death. If...
After waking up from yesterday's dramatic events, I spent the entire day doing chores and being cooped in my room. My brothers still weren't home ever since I saw them at the cemetery, which was worrying but I'm sure they're fine; They're Bulletproof! They're BTS! And they're my brothers. It was about 3pm when I decided to get ready for the BBQ party.
I chose to wear a tight dress, that was newly bought by Hwanwoong from yesterday's expensive shopping spree. It wasn't too revealing, but it had a suitable level of sexiness as well. As I wore the delicate dress, I felt responsible for the sorrow I have caused for Hwanwoong, however, I really couldn't return any love to him; it didn't feel right for me to do so. I slightly curled my short hair to add volume and developed a classy, mature makeup look on my face. I walked out of the house with my new purse in hand, which was also bought from Hwanwoong, "*sigh* I'll return these tomorrow."
It was 5:55pm when I arrived at the restaurant and saw the principal waving me over to the table. I was greeted by my brothers, who were wearing casual, cool clothes. I bowed to them as I slowly sat down next to Hoseok, causing him to shuffle in his seat, "Now, BTS and Y/N, thank you so much for coming but unfortunately, the staff weren't able to come since they're working on another film but don't worry, we'll get together on a different day. For now..."
He raised his glass of soju, "I want to congratulate you for finishing the movie and I believe it will be a phenomenal success." Our cheers were accompanied by the sound of clinking glasses filled with juice and alcohol. After a while of listening to many stories of the principal, he slowly started to nod off and started babbling gibberish, which was hilarious.
"Y-Y/N~D-doo u like *hic* a-anyone frum B-T-S?" His voice was loud and clear so my brothers heard his question. I looked at them for a second before bringing my attention to the principal, "I like them all! They're BTS! Who wouldn't love them?" He sluggishly folded his arms and nodded in seriousness, "Y-you're r-riiiight~BTS is the beeeeest!" He tumbled to the floor with his arms spread out, as if he was creating a snow angel, "Haha, yes yes, BTS is the best but we should get you home now!" He promptly sat up, "No! I'll go myself!" He stood up wobbly and started walking out, "W-Wait Sir!" I quickly grabbed my purse and bowed my goodbye to BTS, who clearly weren't interested in any interactions with me, before gently escorting the principal outside where, luckily, a taxi was waiting.
"Sir, do you remember your address?". He widely nodded as he entered the taxi. "Oh Y/N! Thissss is for youuuu~" He took out an envelope from his pocket and placed it in my hands through the open window of the car before it drove off. I placed the mysterious envelope in my purse, "I'll open it later." I started heading home without realising my brothers were watching my back, but soon left in their car while I took the bus home. When I arrived home, my brothers weren't home so I decided to go straight to bed after removing my makeup and changing into my nightgown.
...
The smell of cool morning air woke me up as my eyes flashed at the ceiling above me. It was still dark but the sun was soon to rise so I decided to get up. I realised my brother weren't at home so I decided to get ready for school. After that, I walked over to the multiple bags brought by Hwanwoong and picked it up to bring it to the living room, "I'll return these today."
As I walked out of my bedroom, I accidentally bumped into my study table and the purse, from last night, tumbled to the floor while an envelope escaped from the opening. I set the bags down and picked up my purse as well as the neatly sealed envelope.
My fingers efficiently tore off the thin edge of the envelope, revealing a photo of me staring at BTS from afar during the picnic scene, 'Huh? Who took this?'. I flipped the photo around and checked inside the empty envelope to find a confirmation of identity...nothing, 'It might have been the principal?'.
My brothers were laughing with extremely happy expressions. I suddenly remembered the time at mother's grave. The contrast was traumatic. 'I knew it... I bring them too much pain...' I reminisced myself always distantly observing my brothers when I had the chance and they're always cheerful, however...when I'm involved, they're never themselves.
Tears streamed from my face and fell onto the photo silently as I stared at it with my head hung down, "...Don't worry, I won't cause pain for you anymore..." I took out a piece of paper and began writing, with trembling hands. I placed the paper and photo on the coffee table, in the living room, before exiting the house, after a final glance, with heavy bags in my arms.
...
I arrived at Hwanwoong's house and placed the bags of expensive items at the door with a letter, "Thank you Oppa...". As I walked away from his house, I remembered the fun times we had together and the most memorable one was when he shielded me from Jungkook on the first day of school. I felt safe when I was with him and now that I think of it, he did try to romantically capture my attention...but I never noticed. In the end, he had to tell me and I couldn't do anything but reject him, 'Why do I cause so much trouble and pain for those around me?' Hwanwoong's troubled face was the last I saw of him and I regretted it so much that, my heavy heart was breaking even more than before. I hated myself...
The more I walked, the closer I could hear the waves of the ocean crashing against one another as I approached it. Each step felt tough and slow as my feet invaded the smooth surface of rough sand. The warm water distracting my eyes, caused my vision to blur but I could see the high cliff up ahead. The sun hasn't risen yet but the wind was a little strong today while it caressed my body as if it was pushing me back, but I continued to walk. "I hope my voice reaches you, my brothers..." As I walked towards the tip of the cliff, my eyes were distracted by the dark waves while I began to sing my last song: (The only thing I can't do for you by Gummy)
(Note: Play the music at the top if interested! ♥)
"I didn't know anything at all... I made you suffer...And I didn't know that...I can't forgive myself for that..." The memory of my brothers at the graveyard surfaced to my cloud of thoughts, causing the tears to endlessly flow off my face.
"You don't know anything at all... Even if you turn away coldly" My feet reached the tip of the cliff as the sun slowly started to rise, lighting up the surroundings in a golden glow.
"Even if I can't see you tomorrow... The you in me won't ever change..." As the sun rose higher, I could vision my brothers in front of me laughing at one another and I smiled while looking towards the glowing ocean beneath me.
