I...killed our mother... so I don't blame you for hating me...I'm also the reason why father had left us...so I don't blame you for ignoring me...But...I wished you would have loved me...just for one time...just once...even if it means my death. If...
The corners of his mouth lifted, "Sorry Y/N~ Did I wake you?". I didn't know what to say as I remained still. He reached for my left hand and pulled it towards him, staring at it, "W-what are you d-doing?". He raised his gaze to look at me, "Do you remember the question I asked you, the night before we left the house?"
Red enveloped the apples of my cheek as I tilted my head, "S-sorry, I don't. W-what question?". Lies. I just didn't want to face it. His eyes lowered, highlighting his long eyelashes, "Do you love me as a man?". A shiver ran through my spine as I averted my gaze, "...I-I-I don't know.".
"Was my kiss not enough for you to give me an answer?". I flinched from his unexpected question, "N-no! I'm just...a bit confused.". He entwined his hand with my left one. "Then let me clear it up for you.". My eyes gradually returned to his, "I love you Y/N.". From the sudden confession that had confirmed all my thoughts, I unconsciously retracted my hand but he held onto it tightly.
"Everyone under this roof has the same feelings for you but...I won't let any of my brothers take you away from me. I'll make sure that I'll be the one to sweep you off your feet.". His lips fell on my ring finger and electric sparks began to spread from the gentle spot where it connected, "Be mine Y/N. I'm waiting for you to fall into my arms.". He slowly released my hand as he stood up to exit the door, "I'll see you in the morning, my princess.". He blew a mini kiss and left.
My heart thumped uncontrollably. I hugged my knees under the bed sheets, '*sigh...How did it all turn out like this?'. At some point, I fell asleep again.
...
I woke up extremely early, possibly because of last night's events, 'Ugh. The sun won't be up for the next 2 hours.'. I decided to get out of bed anyway and head to work early since I didn't want to see them...at all. Like always, I left a small note on the coffee table before disappearing into the dark morning.
'I might practise my dancing and singing in the park.'. Surrounded in peace and quietness, it was a great opportunity to practice without interference. Having headphones plugged in, I danced and sang but quietly, since others were still drifting in their sleep. The sun began to demonstrate its glory to the world as it awakened. *bling*bling*. 'Hmm...A text?' I couldn't recognise the number but read the message:
Y/N! This is your manager! I miraculously found your number with the help of BTS! I'm thrilled you're still in contact with them! I was thinking of doing a second season of your drama but that'll wait. For now...I decided that you should attempt some professional recordings so I booked a studio today! I'm sure you have produced loads of songs to choose from but please only pick one! Cancel all your plans for the day and come to XXX studio around 9!
My hands began to shake, 'Omg...a recording. And a professional one. I still have a couple of hours. I should practice singing.'. As time closed in, I bolted towards the recording studio without hesitation where I was greeted by my manager, "Y/N! I hope you chose a song that'll take you to fame in minutes!". He was delighted with my song choice and the day automatically flew by without warning.
"Y/N! This will turn out to become the best audio anyone has ever produced.". I waved my hand in objection, "Manager-nim! There are many artists with better music than this. I'm just starting out!". He laughed, "Nonsense! You'll become the brightest star in the Kpop industry!". He hooked his arm around my shoulder, "I'm looking forward to working with you more, Y/N!". My eyes twinkled, "Me too! Please take care of me Manager-nim!".
...
"Y/N. You've been coming over a lot. Are you okay?" Jennie asked blankly, as Rose, Jisoo and Lisa looked at me in wonder.
It's already been a week like this.
It was really obvious that I was trying to avoid BTS as much as I can.
I would finish breakfast before they wake up and leave the house, even when I didn't need to be out. If I saw them, I would say, 'I'm busy.'. On the phone, I would act like I was busy and ask them to call later. If they did call again, I would say I was still busy. At work, I would completely ignore their call and text a quick 'Sorry. Busy.', before continuing work.
Though it was true that I was busy at work; spring was here, meaning that florals were in season and high on demand. Orders were increasing day by day. But basically, my main excuse was that I was so busy, I didn't have the time to hang out with them. I knew I was acting rude, but I couldn't help it.
After the recording with my manager last week, I asked Jennie if I could stay at hers for a while. She agreed and introduced the rest of the members of Blackpink. We ended up being friends real quick and I would come here most evenings. I would also stay at the beach and sometimes stare at the ocean on my usual rock. Sometimes I would dance and sing on the soft sand but I would always arrive home late at night when everyone was asleep.
"Sorry Jennie...I'm probably being really annoying right now.". Lisa immediately jumped up from her seat, "No way Y/N! I wish you could stay here for as long as possible!". Jennie averted her gaze, "E-eh...well...I never said you were annoying.". Rose laughed, "You made it sound like it was illegal for her to stay here.".
Jennie pouted, "N-no I didn't! I just asked if she was okay!". Jisoo patted me on the shoulder, "You aren't annoying, Y/N. Jennie is just worried about you." Jennie turned crimson at Jisoo's straightforward statement. I beamed a glowing smile, "I'm really okay! It's just... I don't feel like going home right now."
"Is something wrong at home?" Lisa asked worriedly. Jennie went silent as if she knew what I was talking about. I shrugged, "It's just a small problem. I'll fix it in no time." They nodded but Jennie kept still, eyeing me, trying to figure out all of my secrets. "Oh! It's already this late! I should get going then!". They flinched at the time, "Omg! It is. We're always having so much fun with you, Y/N! You should seriously stay with us! We can hang out all day and night!". Jennie coughed, "All right girls. Get to bed!"
They chuckled, "We know Jennie~See you later Y/N!". With a quick group hug, they left for their bedrooms, "See you later, Jennie.". She smiled, "See you.". She watched me from the door as I walked off. "Y/N!". I turned at my name and saw Jennie pointing at her heart. "Go with your heart.", she mouthed silently before closing the door. My lips naturally curled upwards as I walked away, '...thanks, Jennie.'.
...
I sat on my usual rock again, peacefully staring at the ocean. Jennie's words circled my head. I was grateful for her advice but I still didn't know what my heart wanted. "Marina, what do I do?" I questioned the silent waters, caressing my bare feet in its coolness. "Would you really hate me if I chose one of them, not as a brother, but as a man...?". I stroked the golden heart in my hands and it radiated a golden hue, "Miss Y/N...".
