The Prince of K-Pop || Bang Chan FF

Chapter Fifty-Nine

          "I put it all on the line for you," Chan's face appeared to shine with how the light reflected off of his tears, "My whole career on the line and...and it just hasn't been worth it."

          Naty felt her body falling apart piece by piece as she whispered her desperate plea, "We can try."

          "There's nothing to try. Tara and Ashley will reach out to you in the morning. I'm sorry. We're over," the man hung his head as he turned his back.

          "Chan!"

          Naty was awakened by her own voice. She instinctively reached out for the man in question but came up with empty space. There was no one there except for an old water bottle and a cold reminder of what had happened the night before. The woman sat up slowly as she wiped away her tears and tried to breathe through the hurt of the nightmare. She supposed the pain such a dream still inflicted was the answer to the question she had gone to sleep speculating about.

          Should she break-up with Bang Chan?

          The night before her answer was a clear and loud: YES.

          Suddenly, she wasn't so certain.

          The woman laid back down in the bed as she considered the events of the evening. Everything after Jeongin's question was a blur. All the woman knew was that she had a complete meltdown. She recalled her own shouting as she repeated the same question at increasing volumes: DONNA IS BANG CHAN'S EX GIRLFRIEND? She recalled the others shouting words to calm her but she could not be calmed. She recalled sobbing in I.N.'s arms and she recalled Minho attempting to calm her by telling her it must have been an accident that he forgot to tell her.

          Naty denied such an accident.

          There was more blur and then she was in the condo and she...

          The woman felt hot tears fall down the sides of her face. Though she stood by what she said, Naty felt horrible for screaming and cursing at the man. That was unlike her. That was unlike the person she wanted to be. She did not want to be the kind of person that screamed and cursed at their partner in any situation and yet she had. No matter what, she knew that if Bang Chan had spoken to her in the same way she would never forgive him. It was the only thing she regretted.

          After the screaming, Naty recalled running to the room and holing herself up in the bathroom while she puked a few more times then jumped in the bath. She cried endless tears until the water nearly overflowed the tub and then she cried some more. The woman wasn't sure how long it took but, at some point, she stopped crying and went through the auto-mechanics of her nighttime routine. On her phone she played loud rain sounds while on the TV in the room she put on her comfort show of the Good Place at a high volume.

          The woman drifted in and out of sleep after that.

          Each time she awoke it was with a thirst and an intention of getting a water bottle from the kitchen.

          Each time she ventured to grab it a fresh one was waiting at the door along with a note of apology from Chan.

          Naty never bothered to read it but did accept the water bottle.

          It was the least he could do, after all.

          The woman turned on her side to look at the sunlight drifting in through the large windows. She felt raw. The feeling was partly from puking but it was mostly from the feeling of her heart being ripped out. She wished she could understand exactly what it was about not knowing Donna was the ex-girlfriend that hurt her so much. He had so many opportunities to tell her and he just didn't.