Chapter 58. Lost in my one sided love.

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Knightly's P.O.V

Micah looked in shock at me and asked me "What?" when i said to him "I have had enough of this Micah. I'm going to stop this today because i can't take it anymore". I could immediately hear his heart starting to beat faster but i had no other choice than to do this.

I was very disappointed because i couldn't wait to see Micah since that morning and Star was anxious to meet him too. We were both very concerned about Micah's behavior since the twins were born. It felt like he didn't want me to be near him and became jumpy whenever i tried to touch him to console him.

I really thought that he might be stressed out because of his early labour and tried to ease his worries by hiring a live in nanny. My biggest concern was that Micah didn't like to touch the babies. He was a little taken aback since the babies started crying the first time he tried to touch them. My mind was telling me that something was wrong but i knew that Micah wouldn't tell me if i asked him about it.

I really wanted to help Micah by doing everything i could for him because he's my everything and hated the fact that he didn't like to share anything with me. He liked to keep things bottled up inside and that was making me crazy. I just wanted to pin him down sometimes and force him tell me what was going through his head because we were mates. Mates were supposed to ease each other's pain and not make it worse but that's how i felt. It was like i was the only one who was giving his all in this relationship and that was breaking my heart.

I couldn't believe it when Micah earlier said "You two make a gorgeous couple" to Eliza and me. The only thing that came up in my mind when i heard him say that was "No please, i can't lose you again". I tried to quickly walk up to Micah to stop him from leaving but it looked like he didn't care about me. I knew i was wrong to use my alpha voice on him but this was a punishment i couldn't bear.

I clutched my heart the moment Micah was gone because the pain was to much and put Althea back in the crib. I then asked Eliza "Do you know why my mate made that remark Eliza?" Eliza looked in concern at me and said while stroking Amell's head "No, my king i really don't know why he made that remark. Maybe he's just depressed, it's normal to get depressed after giving birth especially if things don't go your way".

I looked in anger at Eliza and asked her "What do you mean Eliza?" Eliza gave Amell a kiss on his head like he was her own child and laid him then next to his sister. She then turned around and said while looking in my eyes "I think he's jealous my king because the babies like me more than him".

My eyes widened in shock when i heard her say that and Star wanted to shred her into pieces for talking about our mate like that but i controlled my anger. I didn't want to take unnecessary steps yet so said to her "I would advise you to watch how you talk about my mate Eliza because he's your second king and know your place".

Eliza bowed her head to me and said "I'm sorry my king this won't happen again". I then turned around and walked out of the twins room. I walked into my room because my mind was a mess and because i couldn't stop thinking about Micah. Questions like when will Micah come back and why did he leave were going through my mind constantly.

I didn't know what to do and started pacing around in the room. Star started encouraging me to go look for Micah but i didn't even know where to start looking. I tried to mind link Micah several times but with no luck. It looked like he had completely closed off our mind link deliberately. I couldn't take it after a while anymore and plopped down on the edge of the bed.

I then started rubbing my hands on my thighs and thought about how Micah was able to live without me while i had been in a bad shape since he left. It seemed like he didn't care about me enough to stay with me and that made me always live in fear of him leaving me behind. Didn't Micah love me as much as i loved him i asked myself and shook my head because of how afraid i was of the answer. 

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