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From: namjoon1994-wattpadmail.com

To: sincitypainterofficial-wattpadmail.com

Subject: It's Namjoon here.

Hey Y/n,

Do you remember the first time we met, back in Australia? Your painting was placed in a local exhibition and I was bicycling around the area when I found out that there was an exhibition. I loved art so I had to visit it.

Never knew that it'll change my life forever.

I found you standing in front of the same painting that interested me. Your way of ignoring my presence, annoyed me. So I lied to initiate conversation, never did I start conversation with women but I wanted to get your attention so I blurted the most random thing.

My favourite colour is blue though. Just saying.

Jennie agreed with me like every woman does. But you replied to her, aiming your words to me that "it's not just about colours."

You went against me.

That's when I knew that I want your attention.

Jennie helped me and I found out that you needed help to promote your works. While I wanted to change you like the way I wanted. The form that'll obey me and pay attention to me.

It's fucked up mentality but this is me. This is who I am. I found you without looking, and got tempted to you without trying. You were a broken doll, wanting to be fixed and craved for love.

Love. Something that you yearned for from Taehyung. I could give it to you. And make your mind shift to me.

Make you mine. Show you love.

I tried to change myself for you but at the end of the day, you mumbled Taehyung's name in your sleep, cried for Taehyung in your showers, and moaned for Taehyung while being under me.

I waited for long.

I fell deep for you and instantly knew that you were the darkest little paradise. I just need you. I would cross the line, waste my time and lose my mind. All for you.

I needed you by my side. We were fine until I was faced with my responsibilities. I had to return to Korea but never expected you to come back too. That's when I thought about focusing on myself more rather than on my unsure love life.

I started giving up slowly.

You weren't paying attention to me. Like always. But this time, I tried to hide my obsession too. Focusing on my responsibilities. I realised this wasn't enough either. I didn't like the idea of being the next President.

I just wanted to enjoy bicycle rides and visit various art exhibitions. That makes me happy. After meeting you, I was losing myself. I was losing my happiness in trying to mend you. So I tried to distance myself.

But then you attended my party with Taehyung. As his date. Something ignited within my whole system. The attention that I was craving from you, he always manages to get it even if he hurts you.

Why is it him but not me?

It wasn't love this time that caused the jealousy but it was my ego. I started a dirty game, not caring where it'll drag both of us down but I know that you still have someone to pick you back up. You have Taehyung.

But me?

I don't have anyone.

So finally, I let go.

But then that tragic night happened and I can never forgive myself for what I could have done if you didn't harm me to protect yourself. I'm glad you knocked me out. I wouldn't even complain if you killed me.

I'm ashamed of myself. I cannot face you. But I'm still living because you hurt me equally. It's fair and square. I'm fucked up, I know it. We are both toxic. And just in case you're wondering, I love you. I really do.

This is love too.

I'm in love with the impossibility of us.

But both of us need to heal to be able to love someone. So let's ignore each other, try to pretend that the other person doesn't exist, but deep down, we both know, it wasn't supposed to end like this.

I'll be in pain without you. But if love can fade away, so can pain.

Take care and be loved.

From,
Kim Namjoon,
The other half of your now torn red flag that's finally letting go of the last string that still kept us connected.

Be happy, love :)

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