When the Sun Begins to Die

Chapter 28

Josh P.O.V

'I am not very surprised that Cadence is not confident with his body. I wouldn't be either if I were in his situation. He is trapped in a body he doesn't want. It must be unimaginable torture to have to live that way. I hope that The Oasis will allow him to transition once things calm down a bit. Repopulating at a fast pace is a bad idea. They need to realize that.'

I am honestly surprised that Cadence wants to be in a relationship with me. He has been closing everyone out for pretty much his entire life. I'm surprised that I have managed to get close to him.

'Normally people like Cadence do not want to be in any type of relationship simply because of body dysphoria. His dysphoria is practically crippling and yet he is still willing to have a relationship with me. I am happy because I want to be in a relationship with him, but I worry about the day when he runs out of hormone pills once again.'

Cadence and I cuddle in his bed and spend the day talking. The topic changes frequently, but that's to keep things interesting. It's almost like a game.

"Favorite color?" he asks me during our talk.

"Green," I say quickly. "Favorite YouTuber?" I ask him.

"Shane Dawson," he says.

"Really?" I ask, breaking our fast pace.

He shrugs and grabs his phone. "His videos kept me laughing through some really dark times. Plus I went and met him on his book tour with a few people from my school," he explains.

"You mean friends?"

He shakes his head. "I didn't have friends. They offered to take me because they were the type of popular girls who needed at least one designated gay friend and their usual bailed last second. I didn't consider them friends but I still agreed to go," he says, pulling up a picture.

I don't focus on the YouTuber in the photo. I focus on Cadence. He looks a few years younger and his hair is a bit longer, but what I'm really focusing on is his smile. I haven't seen him smile very much. It is a nice sight.

He turns off his phone after a moment and we go back to playing our game.

"Favorite food?" he asks me.

"Spaghetti," I say.

He smiles. "Me too." 

I think for a moment to come up with a new question. "Favorite band?"

He groans and hits my arm. "I can't pick just one! There are so many good bands," he says.

"Tell me your top five then," I say, giving him a bit more room with his music.

"My Chemical Romance, Panic! At The Disco, Fall Out Boy, Hollywood Undead, and Breaking Benjamin," he says, "and Three Days Grace," he adds.

"That's six," I say.

"Shut up, I couldn't leave that one out," he says while hitting my arm.

I laugh softly and smile. He shares a small smile in return. I like seeing his smile. It tells me that I make him happy.

'Hopefully, I will be seeing Cadence smile a lot in the future.'