When the Sun Begins to Die

Chapter 39

Josh P.O.V

After a while, I ease Cadence to sleep and slip out of his grasp. He has had a rough day and is obviously exhausted.

Sandra gestures for me to talk to her outside and I reluctantly agree. I don't know what we are going to talk about, but part of me is coming up with several different ideas.

"When are you going to tell Cadence the truth?" she asks me quietly so we won't be heard.

I sigh softly and cross my arms, looking towards the floor. "I don't know. I don't want to hurt him and I feel like he'll never forgive me," I admit softly.

She rolls her eyes at me and glances at the door. "The longer you wait the harder it will be for him to ever forgive you. You are betraying him every day by not telling him. If you love him, tell him when he wakes up," she says sternly, walking away after that.

I sigh quietly and run my fingers through my hair. The door of the apartment seems to be a doorway to Hell at the moment. It is just torturing me to know that when I do tell Cadence it won't be pretty.

'I know that it is going to hurt him. He is going to feel betrayed and like he can't trust me. He can trust me, but I know that once I tell him he is going to feel like he can't.'

I quietly open the door and sneak back into the apartment. Cadence is still asleep, curled up in a ball under the covers. He seems to be in some discomfort. Perhaps he has some cramps or something.

I carefully climb into bed next to him and lay down. He rolls over to face me but is still asleep. I hold him close as he sleeps. The guilt of this entire situation is slowly starting to hit me.

'I should have told him the day that Mayor Greene made me that deal. I shouldn't have agreed on my own. I don't think that Cadence ever really wanted kids. That would mean putting his body through unimaginable torture. But I did agree because I was told that Cadence would be allowed to transition and go through with any surgery he wanted. I thought that it might make it worth it in the end. Now I'm thinking that I was wrong.'

I eventually manage to fall asleep alongside Cadence. He has been peacefully asleep the entire time. I have just been thinking about what has lead to this point. At least we can still sleep together at the moment.

'Things are not going to be pretty when I tell Cadence the truth. There will probably be a lot of screaming and yelling. What I've done is horrible and I deserve any type of punishment Cadence chooses to give to me. The only thing I really hope for is that I will be forgiven. Cadence is the one thing I truly cherish in this world and I am praying to any entity that will listen that he doesn't leave me for what I've done.'