When the Sun Begins to Die

Chapter 49

Cadence P.O.V

I decided to stop by the lake and rest for a bit. Today has been beyond stressful and I simply want it to end. I have made myself sick with all of my paranoia.

After my puking spell ends I walk to the edge of the dock and sit down. I splash some of the cool water on my face and sigh.

"How could this happen?" I mumble to myself.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have ever let it get this far," a familiar voice says.

I stand quickly and face the other way. Josh is the very last person I would have liked to see. He caused all of this pain.

"Get the fuck away from me," I hiss out, shoving him.

The thought of pushing him into the lake crossed my mind, but quickly left when he grabbed my arm.  I tried to pull away but his grip was rather strong. It was clear that he had no intention of letting me go.

"Please Cadence," he says softly, "I don't want to leave things like this."

I finally manage to pull my arm away and growl at him. "You should have thought about that before you stabbed me in the back!"

Josh looks at me with pain in his eyes. I know that I have hurt him. For some reason, it still hurts me. I now realize that my heart still longs for him. It's going to take quite some time for me to get over him.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you Cadence. That was never my intention. I love you and I don't want to lose you. Please, give me one more chance," he begs, taking my hand in his.

I pull my hand back and give him a scolding look. "As if you deserve it. If I forgive you then you'll just betray me again and get me pregnant for Greene! I'm not going to let that happen! You don't know the pain and dysphoria you'd be subjecting me to! Leave me alone!" I scream.

He takes a step back, finally understanding my boiling rage.

'The dysphoria could kill me. It has always been torture to deal with. The thought of being pregnant makes me cringe in discomfort. I know that I wouldn't be able to do it without heavy supervision. I cannot be trusted during my dysphoric episodes.'

"I know that you hate me, believe me, I hate myself too, but you can't survive out here. Please come back into town. You won't have to talk to me ever again if you don't want to. I betrayed you and I don't deserve your forgiveness. I just want you safe," he says softly after a few moments.

As much as I hate to admit it to myself, Josh did make rather valid points. I didn't have the necessary supplies to survive out in the woods. I could go back to town, but I never really planned on it.

'If I went back to town I could move out of the apartment and start over. I could move on and avoid Josh and Sandra altogether.'

I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. "Fine, I'll come stay in town, but stay the fuck away from me. I don't want anything to do with you," I say sternly, walking off the dock.

He nods after a moment and walks behind me. I can hardly believe I'm doing this.