Black and White (Nightmare x reader????)

Chapter 47: DAD?!

(Trust me this is not (just) crack, though it might seem like it is in the beginning.  It is 'canon' to this story.  Please read all the way through, I know, it's hard.  Trust me.  I died 20 times while writing this. I genuinely tried my hardest to make it slightly serious, but I failed miserably, especially since this is like the climax of the whole friggity frick frickin book. So ya, have fun, I seriously can't be serious for one chapter.)

No...? P0¥

Nightmare walks around in a large blank white space that slowly regains its dark eery ambiance. 
"Y/N?  I-I can't see you... Gosh this is bright.  What's that music?  Is that you?
Is this a prank?  I swear if this is a prank I will-". He gets cut off. 
"IT IS NO PRANK BIT€H!"  Y/N's voice could be heard atop the stairs.  She is playing strange music on her violin. 
"Hey! Why do you sound like that?"  Nightmare realizes he's in his passive form. 
"BECAUSE YOU MY PRECIOUS LITTLE BIT€H BOY," Nightmare cuts in. 
"Stop it Y/N!"
Y/N continues,  "ARE TRIPPING BALLS!"
"No! What? How could this be?
I've never tried cupcakes, shrooms, or MTT.
It's a bad trip, oy gevalt!
Of course, Y/N, this would be your fault!" Nightmare says.  He can sense it.  Something plaguing both their minds.  Forcing them to say things. 

Snap

"FU€K YOU!"  Y/N yells out.  The eery atmosphere gets replaced by the same white void. 
"Ah.  So you broke it." I taunted. 
"What'd I break? I break a lot of things on a daily basis.  A vase, my subordinate's bones, my subordinate's emotional state, my subordinate's mental state, Y/N's mental state, pots and pans while cooking because cookies go burnt, my subordinate's phones because they caught me making the cookies  and plan on using the photos they took as black mail, my budget, my brothers budget, the Y/N's swords...thrice-"Nightmare gets cut off. 

"You what?" Y/N asked. 

"I broke the 'rich kid's' pride.  Twice." Nightmare said. 

"No, no, no.  Before that." Y/N confirms. 

"Oh, ya.  I broke every single sword I stole from you." Nightmare mentions casually.

"Y-you what?" Y/N puts a hand on her heart as if hurt.

"I broke every- hey, hey hey, are you ok? I didn't mean to hurt you!" Nightmare went over to a devastated Y/N.

"Timmothy! Bob the third! Lil' Bad@ss! You monster! You destroyed them all!" Y/N sobbed.
"Hey, it's ok. I'll give you the one when we get back if you agree to be a royal captain, ok?" Nightmare comforted- blackmailed?

If the duo could see my face, it would show pure confusion.

"What?" I asked the confused duo.
"FU€K OFF!" Y/N yelled.
"Ya! You heard her! FU€K OFF BIT€H!" I honestly didn't know what I should think anymore.

"Sometimes I wonder how the Fu€k this person is my daughter..." I unintentionally said aloud.

They both looked at me. They can't even see me! How are they even looking at me?!

"What the fUuuuuuuuh..."
Y/N continued as Nightmare magically got popcorn.
"YOU DIDNT EVEN RETURN WITH MILK!!! Can we leave dAaD?" Y/N mocked.
"Actually I have a proposal." I got cut off.
"Oh. Great. More blackmail." Y/N said sarcastically.
"Ya man! Only I'm allowed to blackmail Y/N!" Just then, the small skeleton started coughing up a black substance.
"Anyway..." I continued, trying to ignore the very disturbing scene in front of me, "If you let me teach you, then I won't destroy your world. If you agree to be my apprentice you will work with me in creating and destroying worlds, you also will become immortal. But you won't be able to go back to your world" I compromised.
"No. I'd rather beat your @ss. Ready Nighty?" Y/N turned over to the skeleton I was trying to ignore, who. NOw has a black substance covering him and tentacles sprouting from his back.  Why is fate so difficult?  I mentally cursed. 
"Let's smack a bit€h."  Y/N's simp scares me. 
I summoned white bullets and aimed them toward Y/N and the other guy.  They dodge the rain like bullets easily. 
"Bro.  What the heck, you almost hit us!"  Y/N said. 
"Oh I know what's going on and it's not gonna work.  You WILL obey my order and come right here.  Right now.  Imagine, being a god.  You could have everything you've ever dreamed of, probably more.  All you have to do, is back away from the tar pit."  I tried to compromise. 
"Hey!  Only I'm allowed to call Nightmare a Tar Pit!"  Y/N shouted back. 
"Hey!" Nightmare pouted.  What a duo. 
"Oh well, I tried."  I sent white spikes rising up from the white ground, causing the couple to jump up in the air. 
"Hey!  If your a god, why did I have parents before you?" Y/N yelled while seemingly floating in the air. 
"I left you on your 'parents' door step.  I wanted you to learn from this world, like how cruel it can be, then I'd come pick you up and teach you real magic.  Like... a boarding school.  But then, you managed to die!  How does your own love life kill you!  So then I had to bring you back, by reincarnation, which was very annoying by the way.  So here we are.  All you have to do is give up."  I taunted.  I saw a flash of an idea on Y/N's face, then...
"A-am I adopted?!" I she screamed. 
"The first time, yes, the second time, not really?" I stated. 
"Hey Nighty, I think I got an idea."  Y/N whispered way too loud. 
The octopus nodded in understanding, almost as if they had a full paragraph of dialogue through telekinetic powers that the author was too lazy to write in. 
I shook out of my author-annoyed thoughts as I noticed the couple has disappeared. 
"Eh oh-" I said, but got cut off. 
"UH OH RIGHT BIT€H!" Y/N said, as she punched me...wait...how'd she punch me?
"You're probably wondering how I did that, well, you don't have a physical form, and after you told me I had the power to create, I created you a physical form so we could be the crap out of your entitled @ss." 

Epic fight scene lator that actually is decent

Y/N POV

"OW WHY DOES PAIN HURT!?" The chad-like-creature screeched. 
"Because pain's a bit€h, bit€h."  I said flatly. 
Nightmare picked up the god and slammed them on the ground multiple times. 
"F-fine.  Y-you...win."  Chad said begrudgingly. As if everything wasn't super bright, it got brighter. 
"This world has taught you well."
Everything faded to white.

(I also have an excuse as to why NM and YN were acting weird. They were trying to convince the guy that our world wasn't worth taking over because of how incredibly stupid it was. Didn't work because the god-chad was a BOOMER. They took examples from our very own culture and the aliens.)
(After reading this chapter a few times, I realized that this is the product of me only knowing half the basic plot, so, ya.  I once saw a meme, and it was like: "writing is hard" and it was a perfect graph of this book.  So- ya.  There is still a few (one or two?) more chapters to come out, so this is just gonna be the climax of the action, the next few will be the climax's of the- 'Love life'.  I'm single and proud.  Never have been in a relationship and never will.  I still have no idea why I wrote thisT^T)