Halcyon

Part 21

He won't touch you if you're sleeping. Those words saved me that night. I can't tell if I actually made Tamir angry but it didn't matter.

"Go down, I'll be there in a minute."

"Yes sir." The words are spoken in unison as if they're robots. Feet start shuffling and the front door closes. I hear one set of feet come to me and as they stop I flutter my eyes open. He stands looking down at me as I sit up.

"You're back." It comes out as a whisper and his head turns away from me looking out into the blinds I forgot to close. "Is everything okay?" I look up at him but still get no response, I stand. "Tamir?"

He turns and my jaw drops. His left cheek is slit open by one clean slash and is gradually pouring blood out. "Oh my gosh!" I raise my hand to his face without thinking. "What happened to your face?!" He doesn't even flinch when I touch him.

"Come with me!" I grab his wrist but he lets me go, "Please you're bleeding!" I beg.

"I'll live." He moves to the door but I just about get in his way.

"Let me clean it up!"

"Halcyon." His tone warns me.

"It might get infected and start bruising all sorts of colours! Please, let me just wipe it down." He glares at me, something cold swims in his eyes and is resurfaced for me to see. Large hands wrap around my throat and I'm smashed into my own door.

I choke out a nasty sound as I try pushing him away. "I'll snap you in half you feeble imbecile," I can't barely make his words out as my ears start to ring with my blurry eyes. "I got into this mess protecting you!" For his last two words he raises his tone and throws me.

I land smack hard into my coffee table and tumble off it, my name is called out but I'm too busy coughing violently to notice. "Look at me! Are you hurt?!" Hands are touching me. Breath, get air to your lungs.

I look up at Tamir, he just threw me. His eyes are mirroring my own confused but shocked hollow eyes, don't tell me his own actions surprised himself. I start crawling away form his touch. "Please don't touch me." My voice breaks.

"I didn't think I would-" he's reaching out for me.

"Don't touch me!" I blink out my glossy eyes so I can see him. "Please." I put a hand out. He hesitates but collects himself. I shake in my own skin feeling where his hands nearly took my breath away. He threw me.

"I'm not abusive." His tone is unrealistically pleading. "I didn't think I would do that...I didn't mean to do that...Halcyon?! I'm-" he's waiting for my response but I can't even bring myself to look at him.

"Your men," I whisper. "they're waiting for you." This is me asking him to leave in most unproblematic way I can think of. He mumbles a curse getting up, I don't watch him go but the second my door shuts I starts bawling my eyes out.

I'm not going to make it in his mafia. Not if he's throwing me around like some rag doll. My own father didn't even lay a finger on me, why would Tamir even think about this?!

I run my hand over my throat remembering how tight his grip was, if he didn't throw me he would have chocked me to death. Is this my sign that even men as deep as Tamir can't change? Should I just let him be? Maybe the safer option is to run?

But I've yet to get anywhere, I haven't made any progress. All I know is that his mother used to be and alcoholic, I mean this is proof that he can have the decency to open up when he wants to. But he still tried strangling me, then threw me, and my tears won't stop falling.

This is a dangerous game I'm playing.

Avoiding Tamir himself was easy, but having to look in the mirror and see his hand print, bright purple, on my neck isn't easy at all. I have to wear a turtleneck to avoid any suspicion and Kate has yet to notice.

And when he calls, I'm sleeping. I'm taking Kent's advice into better consideration. He won't get to me if I'm asleep and I prefer it that way, it's easier to avoid him. Even if I don't avoid him all the time, he still comes at six to my shop, can't tell him not to.

However Saturday is a day I can't avoid him since he comes to pick me up, I've already had my pep talk with myself in my office telling myself not to show my fear, at least not in front of him.

I grab two boxes full of doughnuts and put them at my hip as I close up the front door is the shop. "Don't let him get to you," I remind myself. "Smile." I try smiling but it seems to forced so I settle with a small smile instead.

He's standing, tall and stiff against his car, both hands in his trousers pocket as his jacket is wide open. "Hi," I approach him as his eyes drop to the boxes. "For your men," I hold them out for him to take. "I'm assuming you put them by me for some reason, even though I don't particularly know what the reason is, I still want to thank them.

"It's nothing fancy, just doughnuts." He takes it form me and his head turns exposing his left side, he's nodding to someone as I'm taking in his cut. It's been stitched together and is already healing quite well.

"A gift form Halcyon." He hands the box to Kent and I follow his gaze smiling. Kent nods in appreciation then turns to go back into the car he came from. "Here." He opens the door for me and I get it. Don't let him get to you.