New Beginnings {ACM}

Chapter 20

Song of the chapter: Sad Song by We The Kings

Emily's POV

"Lucy, please don't touch that," I said as I rushed over. I grabbed my phone from her. "Taylor, you're supposed to be watching her."

"I am," she replied without looking up from her magazine.

"Taylor, I need help more than ever!" I shrieked.

She jumped and looked at me, shocked. "I'm sorry, Emily. Here, the magazine is going back in my bag." She pointedly showed me that she was slipping it in her bag. "There, it's gone."

I sighed and put my hands over my face. "I'm going crazy, Taylor. Nothing is the same without Austin here. Even Lucy isn't acting like herself! She's been cranky a lot more."

"I wish I could help," Taylor said sympathetically.

"You are helping me. It's hard to watch her alone; I don't know how single mothers do it," the word single made me tear up. I threw my hands up. "I screwed up, Taylor! I really screwed up this time and I hate myself for it."

"Hey," she said. "Don't hate yourself for this whole Jesse situation. You were just being nice."

"But look where that got me. Austin left!"

"He just needed some time; he's not gone forever, Emily."

I flopped down on the kitchen chair. "It's been four days. I haven't heard from him at all."

Lucy walked over. "Momma?"

"I'm fine, Luce," I sniffed as I scooped her up on my lap and kissed her head. "Mommy's just a little sad right now." I embraced my little girl as the tears kept flowing.

"Oh, Emily, I hate seeing you like this," Taylor told me as she stood up from her seat at the counter and walked over. "It's killing me."

"I wish I could undo that day."

"Here, give me Lucy. I'll take her to your mom's place," Taylor said. "You need time alone."

"I don't need time alone; I need time with Austin here," I snapped. "With both of my babies here!"

"Emily, it'll be better for Lucy," she told me gently.

I sniffed and looked at my best friend before sighing reluctantly. "Fine." I put Lucy back on the ground and Taylor took her hand. "Go with Auntie Taylor, baby. I love you."

"I'll call you later," Taylor said.

I nodded and they left.

I wiped my eyes and shakily stood up. I had barely eaten in the days since Austin had left, I had probably gone through three Kleenex boxes from crying all the time, and I was a mess. I just wanted him back home with me and Lucy.

I could barely sleep either; the bed felt cold, and everything reminded me of him. Even looking at Pancakes made me want to cry.

I grabbed the photo album I was looking at before and flipped through the pages. I was torturing myself, I know, but I needed to see him, even if it was only in a photo. As I flipped through the pictures when Lucy was just a few months old, I sighed sadly. We all looked so happy and carefree. It was when I got to one specific picture that made me lose it again.

It was a picture of me and Austin that Alex had taken the spring before I got pregnant with Lucy. We were smiling and staring into each other's eyes with our arms wrapped around each other by the beach.

My phone started ringing from across the room on the table and I slammed the book shut before bolting over to it. I picked it up and quickly said, "Austin?!"