I Fall Apart ♢ Max Verstappen

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 43

♫ Walk in your rainbow paradise
Strawberry lipstick state of mind ♫

Max Verstappen POV

Victoria got to the hospital, I didn't want to call her and wake her up since she has two babies too but my mom clearly called. As soon as she sees me I just shake my head and she erupts crying.

"Why didn't you call me? Are you crazy? Where is Emilian?" She asks between sobs and I just stared blankly at her.

"I called Charles in the heat of the moment, he was two floors down. You have to babies to look after, I was going to call you in the morning so you could pick her up from Charles' room" I say and she just shakes her head.

"Mom said that it's bad, that it's life or death. Is it true?" She asks and I nod, I gulp feeling like I had a lump in my throat, I felt physically sick.

"She has to have a c-section, the baby has a very good chance of survival but he will need to stay in the hospital a long time and will need extra care. She would certainly die if they didn't do it, I had to say yes. She was dying by my side, and Emilia saw her. I failed them both, I should've been on the lookout when she was feeling sick yesterday. How can I be like this?" I say while the tears 

"Max, this is not your fault. Something happened but it isn't your fault. You had no way to guess this could ever happen, she had a good pregnancy before and she will survive this. She is a strong woman, there is no doubt she is going to fight to come back as good as new to all of us" She says hugging me and I nod.

I scheduled a last-minute flight so everyone could be here in the morning, they needed to be here so we can support each other as a family, she will need all of us here when she wakes up. Hours went by and everyone showed up at 10 am, Tom brought the kids and Emilia, and she ran to me and hugged me.

"How is mom dad? Is she okay?" She asks with tears in her eyes and I feel my heart break a little.

"Mom is going to be alright darling" I say and my mom brings me something to eat, I shake my head because I think I would throw it up from all the stress. A few minutes later I see the doctor coming out again.

"Are the parents here?" He asks and the three of us nod and step further away from everyone.

"How is my daughter? A c-section doesn't usually take this long" Lottie asks holding Jacob's hand. I saw how terrified they were and I could only imagine the pain they were going through, she is their daughter. I couldn't imagine losing Emilia but I sure know how heartbreaking it would be to lose the love of my life.

"It wasn't good, we had to try to resuscitate her more times than we should have, she was progressively getting worse, and her blood loss was getting worse but she is still alive. We were able to stabilize her. She can breathe independently, and the baby is completely fine for his age. It might not seem like it because he is not fully developed but we believe he will be able to be fully capable. Only his development over the next few months will assure it" He says and I couldn't feel relieved. 

"But, is she okay? She is out of danger?" Jacob asks and the doctor shakes his head.

"No, she is not out of danger. Her condition is critical and she has been stable for the last hour, we can't promise that will last long. She will need to be monitored in ICU for today at least. She has her own room as requested by Mister Verstappen but the state she is in might shock you. She has a lot of devices connected to her so we can see how she is doing" He says and I ran my hand through my neck, this stress will kill me.

"I need to see her, please" I say and he nods.

"I will lead you to her room, a medical team is carefully following her, if they tell you to leave then leave, it will be faster. You saved her life, I really believe that" He says and I feel some kind of relief, but the guilt was still here.

We entered her room and he was right, this is not what I want to remember her from. Em can't go in here, she can't have this memory of Mia. She was totally pale and had wires all around, the machines were confusing and I got closer to hold her hand, which was colder than usual.

"Baby, I love you so much. Our kids will need you and so will I. Please, get better. I will be here waiting for you" I say feeling a tear rolling down my face.

"We are all here to help you, darling. Those kids will need you now more than ever. You are strong, you can do it" Lottie says holding her other hand.

"She looks like a ghost of herself. My baby is not like this, she needs to come back. I can't see her like this, this is breaking my heart" Jacob says taking his hand to his chest and Josie hugs him.

"She is going to be fine, our baby girl is not weak. This is just another shit in her life" She says and I try my best not to cry in that moment, I need to be strong, someone needs to be strong right now.

"I need to see our son, I will come back in a second" I say and they nod.

I asked a nurse to take me to where my son was and I saw him in the incubator, with all types of machines, he couldn't breathe alone, he was so tiny and he was between a shade of red and purple. I was finding it hard to see but I could see his little heart beating, this is my son. She needs to meet him, she needs to raise him with me. I want so much more for both of us, there is so much we haven't done.

We have two beautiful kids to raise, she is going to be my wife and we will be happy. This can't be it for us. 

I went back to the room and saw both Lottie and Jacob being rushed out of the room while some machines went off. No, this can't be happening. What the fuck have I done to deserve this?