365 Days (Part 2) | ✓

308. Robotic

308. Robotic: Write about a robot.

"Hello."

"Hello, Sir. Can I assist you?"

"Um... you talk."

"Or course."

"But -- never mind. Stupid Joe and his tricks. Of course his strange robot lady talks. Anyway, yeah. You can help me."

"How may I assist you?"

"Well -- uh -- geez, how do I explain this to you? So Joe, right? Your master? Joe is missing and -- actually, what do you care? You're just a robot."

"That's thoughtless of you to say."

"I -- what?"

"Are you asking me to repeat myself or are you expressing astonishment?"

"I'm expressing astonishment... I guess. How am I thoughtless? I'm the only one here looking for Joe."

"Do you maintain a close personal relationship with Joe?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Then you know he has programmed me to imitate human behavior, including taking offense."

"Ahh... yeah. Of course. I should've known. Joe made a sensitive robot. Agh, where's Mollie when I need her? She's the sensitive one... Listen, lady. Or thing. Whatever you are. Joe is missing and I need his files. One file in particular: The one entitled Breach Play."

"I am afraid I cannot help you."

"Why not?"

"You haven't proven yourself to be Joe's true friend. You have not asked the question."

"What question?"

"I cannot tell you."

"What? You know what -- agh! I'm running out of time. Fine, if you won't cooperate... I know how to hack."

"I too know how to hack."

"Well, fine diddly dee for you."

"You have mild protection on your computer."

"...You didn't."

"Based on date compiled from the internet, these pictures would be considered dangerous to release."

"I'm going to kill Joe if I ever find him."

"Homicide is a crime punishable by the death penalty."

"Ugh! Joe!"

"Joe is not here."

"I bloody well know that! Where is he? Do you know?"

"No."

"Then you have to help me find him."

"I am not programmed to obey you."

"Who are you programmed to obey?"

"Joe."

"Did he program any feelings of loyalty into you?"

"I do not know."

"Well, let's test it. I need your help. Joe needs your help. So unless you want to go dead and never respond to another command, let's go and find him. You can walk right?"

"All mobile functions at 100%."

"Fabulous. Then come on."

"Is this Joe's command?"

"Yes."

"Very well. What is his command word?"

"I -- what?"

"Command word?"

"I hate my life."

"Command confirmed. Let's go find Joe."