Spidey Oneshots

The One Where Hes Not There.

Gone. Peters gone. He's gone. Not here. Peters gone. Gone. Dead. Was the mantra that kept repeating in Tony's head.

On repeat for hours, it didn't stop when Nebula forced him onto the broken down ship.

It didn't stop as they fixed up the ship together or when they got it flying and set course to Earth.

Nor did it stop when he almost starved to death or when he nearly died due to asphyxiation.

Even after the lady with the glowing hands saves them (Tony's sure she has a name. He just doesn't listen when he's told it), it still doesn't stop.

It keeps playing on repeat as Steve helps him off the ship, he doesn't say anything, to busy thinking about how Peters gone.

People try and get him to talk as they have Bruce check him over for injuries, they ask if he knows anything. He doesn't.

He doesn't say that though, he just sits in his wheelchair staring at his hands that still have-

Still have Peter on them.

Once they're done talking about how badly they all fucked up, how badly they lost Tony just wheels himself to his room without saying anything.

He locks the door.

He doesn't ask who they lost. Can't bring himself to care.

Or perhaps he cares too much and can't bring himself to lose anyone else.

He can guess who is gone anyway. He knows who was in the meeting room and he knows who wasn't there and he knows what that means.

But until it's confirmed he's not going to mention it.

Because then he can convince himself that maybe, just maybe they are okay.

People keep knocking on the door.

Asking if he's okay. Asking if he's hungry.

He's not.

Hell even Pepper stops by to see if he's okay and they broke up months ago.

"Tony we may not be together anymore but I still care about you and I want to make sure you're okay." She had said, voice gentle and caring and god, Tony wanted to open the door and cry into her shoulder but he couldn't bring himself to move.

Not when all his mind could focus on was how Peter wasn't with him.

He's pretty sure she knows that Peters gone. May had probably call a hundred time asking if we knew where he was and if he was okay.

He's wasn't.

But he doubts she knows that.

Last she knew he was on a school trip and not on some alien spaceship trying to save a wizard.

"Tony?" He looks up at the mention of his name and sees Steve staring at him with a concerned look on his face.

He blinks slowly at the soldier but doesn't say anything.

It takes him a moment to realise he's no longer in his room.

He doesn't remember letting anyone in and he definitely doesn't remember getting to the kitchen so you can imagine his surprise to find out that he was, in fact, in the kitchen.

That's something he probably should have noticed.

Steve must have seen the confused on his face because he's explaining before Tony can even ask.

"Friday let me in." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "You haven't eaten in a week so I thought you could join us for breakfast."

Tony nodded slowly as he scanned the people in the room.

Steve, Natasha, Rhodey, Bruce, Thor, Nebula, A Talking Racoon and Clint (He can't quite remember whether or not Clint had been here when he'd landed the ship but he doesn't dwell on it for too long).

He assumes the rest are gone.

Like Peter. His mind so helpfully adds.

A plate is placed in front of him, he's not sure who put it there, it's got food on it. A lot of food.

He just stares at it. Too exhausted (both mentally and physically) to even try and eat.

"Tony, man you gotta eat." Rhodey gently encourages.

He shakes his head.

"Come on. Either eat or tell us what the hell happened!" Clint exclaimed. He quickly covered his mouth as if the words had slipped out.

"Tony I'm sor-" He was cut off before he could finish apologising.

"What happened?!" Tony snapped, his voice rough from not speaking for weeks. "You want to know what happened?"

No one answered.

"We lost! That's what happened!" Tony clenched his fist tightly in his lap. "We fought Thanos and we didn't fucking win! And now-"

He cut himself off.

"We are supposed to defend the Earth." He stated, his voice calmer then it was a moment ago. "But we didn't! We lost! Luckily though thats when we do our best work, right? We're the Avengers? Not the Prevengers. The Avengers."

"So what happened is we let that big ass grape looking mother fucker win!" He continued as everyone stared at him. "We let him win and I lost-"

He cut himself off again.

"You know what..." He picked up his plate, placed it on his lap and began to wheel away from the table. "I'm going to go eat this in my room."

Steve stopped him before he could leave.

"Tony what did you lose?" He asked gently as if Tony was some glass that would shatter at any moment.

Maybe he was.

Tony briefly made eye contact with Rhodey for support and he watched as the the realisation dawned on him.

"Tony, no." Rhodey whispered in disbelief.

Tony mutely nodded.

"No what?" Nat asked, it was obvious she was scanning his face to figure out what he meant.

"I lost my son." He whispered as tears filled his eyes. He didn't dare look at anyone, teary eyes focused on his lap.

"My kid was one of the ones to..." He trailed off but he knows that they understood. "And he felt. God he was begging me not to let him go and I couldn't- There was nothing I could do, he was in agony."

Someone audibly gasped when they heard he could feel the dusting. No one else seemed to be in pain when they disappeared.

"The last thing he did was apologise." Tony laughed bitterly. "Kid never apologised for a thing in his life, he was way too stubborn but this? Him dying? That's when he says 'I'm sorry' as if it was his fault."

No one knew what to say.

So they didn't say anything.

Steve was the one to break the silence minutes later.

"We'll get him back." He nodded determinedly. "We'll get all of them back."

~*~

I just rewatch infinity war fully for the first time since it came out and I was close to crying the entire time so I thought I'd write some angst!

Also two uploads in two days? I'm like a new person.

I wouldn't get used to it (although I am trying hard to upload more often, promise).

Anyways~

Stay safe my dudes!