They Rely On Hope. What Do I Rely On? - Tommyinnit Adoption AU

Chapter 43

TW: mentions of medication, abuse, su!cide, SH

Ranboo gently led Tommy inside, and Tommy did his absolute best to hide the overwhelming terror he was feeling.

"Tommy are you ok? You didn't come back after school," Kristin asked, quickly getting up to see Tommy.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I was just running late on my way home and couldn't stop to come in."

"I saw you leave, you were out almost as soon as the bell went, how were you already late?" Ranboo asked and Tommy shifted slightly, nervous.

"I just have stuff that barely fits time wise after school so it's a rush, I forgot about it when you told me," Tommy said and it wasn't a full lie, only the forgetting part was.

"Can you take some painkillers now?" Kristin asked and Tommy quickly shook his head.

"I had them before school," He lied, "It's too recent for another dose."

Kristin nodded and Tommy held back the sigh of relief. He had hated taking them yesterday and he didn't want to go through that again. He didn't trust them. He couldn't. Not after Tubbo. Never again.

"Can I check the bandaging?" Kristin asked and Tommy stopped any movement, terrified. She'd see the new ones and she'd think the worst except this time she'd be right. He wouldn't be able to deny doing that to himself. He couldn't.

"I bandaged them well this morning, they are fine," Tommy said quietly and Kristin gave him a look, clearly trying to work out if she should push for it. Eventually she decided against it and looked at Ranboo.

"What are you two here for?" She asked gently, seeing as Tommy wasn't giving her a proper answer.

"Tommy's exhausted. I was wondering if he could sleep here or something? Or go home?" Ranboo suggested and Tommy frantically shook his head.

"No, no, not home, I don't need to go home, I'm fine, really, I don't even need to be here."

"Not home then, ok," Kristin nodded, "How about you rest in the back room, there's a bed in there you can sleep on or if you'd rather you can play a game or something, as long as Tommy is resting."

Ranboo nodded, content with that idea, and he gently pulled Tommy after him as he followed Kristin back. He nudged Tommy inside, said something quietly to Kristin which Tommy didn't catch, then followed Tommy in.

"Rest," Ranboo said, pointing at the bed. Tommy sat down, then stopped, staring at Ranboo, making it clear he didn't want to lie down.

"If I leave will that help? I can wait outside or leave entirely, but only if you agree to rest," Ranboo said after a few moments, realising Tommy didn't intend to lie down.

"Whatever you think is best," Tommy said, not knowing what he was actually supposed to say to that. He didn't want to make Ranboo mad, but he also didn't really want him to stay either. He wouldn't sleep if Ranboo was here, but he wouldn't sleep anyway, so that wasn't the issue. The issue was the lack of safety that would probably continue to haunt him for the rest of his life.

Ranboo sat down in the chair next to the bed, looking at Tommy thoughtfully before he began to speak.

"I get the feeling you're not going to rest," Ranboo started cautiously and Tommy shrugged, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. Ranboo watched him for another moment before continuing, "Are you scared? When I can't sleep that's usually the reason for me. Scared of nightmares or of people catching me off guard I guess. Usually when that gets bad I ask to sleep over at Eret's place. Do you have anyone like that? Anyone who you trust to keep you safe?"